Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread Harder

[Reply #360 on:]

Looks better wet and/or short. Go back and have them do a Number 4 on it.

Or try a Number 2.

I'm not sure how taking a dump is going to improve his hair...

[Reply #361 on:]

TURNIP WITH THE TIDES
Bender realises his lifelong goal to become a turnip.

HOT BUZZ
The crew go on a mission to blow up the moon, but the ghost of Buzz Aldrin talks them out of it.

SWEEPING WITH THE FISHES
Zoidberg gets demoted to janitor upon Scruffy's completion of his doctorate (which turns out to be fake).

ALL ZAPPED OUT
Zapp Brannigan reveals he has been secretly donating sperm for years, and now a slew of young Zapp spawn are threatening to take over the world with their obnoxiousness. Something something KILLBOTS, something something they're all dead except the original Zapp. It's easy to tell which one he is because he's older.

EASTBOUND AND CLOWN
Fry becomes a clown.

SNOUT'S HONOUR
Fry becomes a pig.

FRY BECOMES A CLOCK
Bender becomes Fry.

I DREAM OF MEANY
Zoidberg learns how to bully. He bullies everyone in the PE building. They castrate him in response.

FLABBER
Flubber parody, only the Flubber is Hermes' fat.

MANIMAL FARM
Sentient wax figures of Simon MacCorkindale take over the world.

DAY TIME IS THE WRONG TIME
A triptych episode satirising daytime television. Fry and Leela give an awkward interview with horribly forced banter. Bender has a cooking segment which goes awry. The professor uses the entire third act to advertise a new doomsday device which winds up going off and killing everyone, because killing everyone is always funny in non-canon episodes, apparently.

AMY POLAR
Amy runs away to go live on the North Pole after the gang break her cat or something.

ATOM AND EVE
Professor Farnsworth discovers that every atom in existence, in fact, has an expiration date, and the entire universe as we know it is set to end in EXACTLY 24 HOURS. He solves the problem by freezing everything.

... There, that's about an entire season's worth.

For God's taint, why wasn't this already in the thread? What, do you people expect me to seek out entertainment for myself here, like some kind of... entertainment-seeking... ...drudge? (Yeah, saved it at the last second.)

[Reply #362 on:]

Kurt's true calling

Kurt's true calling is to slip through the cracks in reality and rescue Leela from the abusive clutches of the universe in which she lives, presumably at the same time as Onuki zaps fry with some kind of gay love beam and claims the poor goofbag as his husband.

The effects of this will ripple through to our universe, where it will be manifested as nobody ever being able to draw Leela without also drawing Kurt saving her from peril, and nobody being able to draw Fry without also drawing Onuki saving him from a lack of being sodomised at that particular time.

This will finally kill the Futurama Madhouse Message Board.

[Reply #363 on:]

* Tachy has empirically determined that Tri-Berry^(TM) flavoured Nuun^(TM) fizzy tablets are FAR less soluble in a 40% ethanol/water solution than one would expect, given the violent reaction observed when adding them to ordinary fltered tap water!

Flavored salt tablets in your watered-booze, Tachy? Are you pioneering a new drink called Vodkarade?

Well, if it makes you feel awful tomorrow at least you won't have to drag your ass in to work, right?

Correct, though I need to get in a couple more training rides before the very hilly 100-mile event next Saturday.

Also, Kraken rum is bottled at a 40% concentration.

Oh, so it's Krakarade? Sounds racist.

[Reply #364 on:]

Personally, I combine my Macbook Air with Nudie skinny jeans, vintage band shirts, a colorful scarf, some Wayfarers and fair trade drip coffee. You could also go for some tea, though, this is, after all, about being an individual.

[Reply #365 on:]

How DID the flavored rum experiment pan out, Tachy?

[Reply #366 on:]

My poor Asus is coming unhinged

They do say that over time, a computer comes to resemble its master.

[Reply #367 on:]

Someone called me a hipster today. To prove I wasn't, I made a Venn diagram showing what I liked and what other people liked. I don't think it worked.

[Reply #368 on:]

I'll be spending five days in this CRAZY resort...

 We prefer the term "institution."

...to whine about not having a girlfriend, however, speaks to a less sexualized desire for companionship that is common among most people regardless of whether or not they happen to be dipping their dick in any random girl's pond...

Last night I dreamed that I was thirteen years old and a prostitute. Some aspects of the dream were enjoyable, but the other bits were nightmarish.

Yeah, who the hell would want to be 13 all over again?  

Fuck her, take the $2.50 back.

Are you suggesting that TheMadCapper prostitute himself?

Wow, a My Little Pony AND Pewdiepie fan.

That's just wonderful.

Wow, a The Last of Us AND Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan.

That's just wonderful.

Zing!

[Reply #369 on:]

Who are you? 

Why, I'm UnrealLegend.

[Reply #370 on:]

An episode written entirely by Kurt Pikachu and animated by Mike Kazaleh.

[Reply #371 on:]

It's okay, I keep a very clean butthole.

Except for the barnacles.

Except for the barnacles.

Keelhaul him!

[Reply #372 on:]

I'm surprised this isn't here yet.

It was honestly the closest thing I could find on Google to a Space Dalmatian.

[Reply #373 on:]

Grand Theft Otter.

24k gold-pressed latinum...

[Reply #374 on:]

A wise man once said that nothing truly dies. It just comes back in a new form. Then he died.

[Reply #375 on:]

Yeah, I thought that line from Futurama was very funny, too.

[Reply #376 on:]

I hope Germany wins now.  Just to spite you, SpacemanSpiff.

[Reply #377 on:]

What the heck's a sunlounger?

It's like a deck chair but lounger.

Wait a second - is that a seal, or a sea lion?

[Reply #378 on:]

It's a seal lying

!!

[Reply #379 on:]

And when you and Nibbs finally give up on finding a mate and decide to settle down together, you can both make good use of this function.

It's not gay if we don't look at each other while we do it.

Don't forget to say "No homo" after you're done.

[Reply #380 on:]

What's with the guy running into the water on the right edge of the pic? It looks like he's about to stomp something. Something orange.

Closer inspection of the original tells me it's an orange frisbee.

The day sharks learn to lure us into the water with decoy frisbees, humanity is doomed. At least, the subset of humanity that would run into the ocean for a frisbee, which is a subset that includes me and that guy.

Also doomed: all golden retrievers.

[Reply #381 on:]

Congratulations, UnripeLemon! Here is the traditional badge for a three year PEELiversary:

[Reply #382 on:]

I'd be angrier about the coffee. Talk about false advertising. No nuts in the "Chock Full of Nuts" coffee? Bullshit!

[Reply #383 on:]

I suppose I should have kept it all in the rant thread, because after I got home from exercising, I got called into work early for tonight.  It's a lose-win-lose-win-lose-lose.

I'm... confused...

And aroused?

Maz sums up young adult relationships in one paragraph:

...so I guess the moral of the story is, lesbians get together in high school, nerds have no luck with anybody, pretty people have sex too early and cheat on each other and provide amusing soap operas for the rest of us, and then when high school ends, the snobby lesbian decides she's straight or bi for men and breaks your friend's heart, the nerds get into long term relationships and the pretty people are/get knocked up, sometimes by more than one person. It's all a rich tapestry.

[Reply #384 on:]

† Zed 85 returns to The List

Fuck yeah!

after an absence of 70 weeks.

Fuck really?

Another quiet week on PEEL.

...Oh, right.

I'm proud of you Zed 85.  I once told my girlfriend you were on an episode of Dr. Who, and now she's pregnant!

My dog read this and now HE'S pregnant!

[Reply #385 on:]

I was giving it a chance one time but my best friends little brother is really the one who threw me off of liking the show.. he almost threw me off of liking Futurama, because one day at my friends house we walked into his room and he was jerking off to Bobs Burgers.. same thing with Futurama Netflix was paused on Leela that time.. It really fucked us up..

Maybe you should learn to knock, you jerk!

[Reply #386 on:]

Pie are square!

If they were having sex, I'd knock on their door, look them straight in the eyes, and say "Either quiet down your sex-doing or keep going long enough for me to finish."

[Reply #387 on:]

I just read your post, and I have to say, I am thoroughly impressed.  I did not expect this post to be nearly as good as it has been.  It's wonderful, I really went for a rollercoaster of a ride on this one.  It's like that time that I managed to masturbate for the entire theatrical viewing of 2001: A Space Odyssey.  Except I suppose this is more like if I were in an alien jungle of some kind, sitting on my knees, with my wrists tied beneath my chin, and a cloved cigarette protruding out of my mouth being lit by a famous french cartographer.  I kind of feel like nobody even knew you'd make a post like this, and it's just spellbinding.  Posting at its finest.  This is perhaps, the most epic, hand crafted post I have ever come across in the eons that I've had to come across posts.  A rare delicacy in the stratum of posts that are being made these days.  I highly recommend your post to anybody who may or may not be a fan of posts, or even fans of the sci-fi/action genre who also happen to read posts.

I would buy this post, take it home, and read it everyday while I cook and do laundry.  For at least one entire month.

[Reply #388 on:]

You shouldn't post that here. Certain agencies might be listening.

[Reply #389 on:]

The head should just remove very easily, you put the cape down and then reattach the head over the cape

The head was glued with two drops on the inside and hardly removable. I managed to get it off now with a lot of strength and a knife. Now it can be removed easily indeed. 

So in other words:

[Professor]It's stuck in there with glue or something, I don't know![/Professor]

That's perfect, Tedward

[Reply #390 on:]

But then who was phone?

[Reply #391 on:]

Nutmeg's brilliant comment on Freako's GF pic:

This picture without context, would make Coldangel fucking die.

Dude, your new girlfriend has massive hands.

In all seriousness though, is she like 3 feet shorter than you? A'cause you're insanely tall.

[Reply #392 on:]

You masturbate by "diving in head first?" I'm going to need to see some diagrams here.

[Reply #393 on:]

Funny story: The other day, I was in my brother's apartment and I saw this thing on his dresser. It was made of hard plastic in the same garish yellow of a mustard bottle, and--even though it was shaped like a penis, and I should have known it was a sex toy--I mistook it for a comically-shaped bong that one used by clamping his or her mouth around the vas deferens and inhaling.

This was an embarrassing mistake to make, of course (and my brother loudly, angrily corrected me when I asked what he was doing with a dick-shaped bong); however, in my defense, my brother is as much a drug fiend as he is a pervert, so you can understand my initial confusion.

[Reply #394 on:]

(Meerkat's post included for context)

I have a huge happy because a girl said yes when I asked her out! First try, woo! In your face, person-I-don't-know!

Were you giving her "the look"?  You know the one I mean...

Show spoiler

[Reply #395 on:]

You forgot to leave the little fields at the end for the checkmark on yes or no.

     yes (   )                         no (   )

Anyways, totally bro!

No gay shit though. ¬_¬

It's not gay if your checkmarks aren't touching.

[Reply #396 on:]

Not being one to simply fade out, Ralph intentionally provoked [-marc-] until he received the ban he sought.

So.... people come here.... to talk.... about things......... so they can be banned? 








From.... coming.... here........


to...... talk about things..........

[Reply #397 on:]

I don't think anyone is going to put me on trial for not watching every single episode.

No one expects the PEELquisition.

[Reply #398 on:]

Part of growing up is realising that you'll never truly be happy.

You're a dark poet, Jez.

[Reply #399 on:]

A natural attitude for someone who plays a bass guitar in satanic blood rituals.