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Author Topic: Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread Harder  (Read 20466 times)
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coffeeBot

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #320 on: 02-04-2014 05:50 »

You beat me to it, you flaming shitbag.    up yours
Xanfor

Moderator
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #321 on: 02-04-2014 18:26 »

Everything in this thread so far.

I unnominate everything in this thread since then, as things have gotten far too serious. no no
totalnerduk

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #322 on: 02-04-2014 19:29 »

You beat me to it, you flaming shitbag.    up yours

You're welcome, you cockthumping barfguzzler.
luna_m_lasercaptain

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #323 on: 02-04-2014 23:54 »
« Last Edit on: 02-05-2014 02:10 »

Everything in this thread so far.

I unnominate everything in this thread since then, as things have gotten far too serious. no no

My poor, unfortunate thread. It started as a fun way to settle a disagreement, and it's turned into a gender war. A big, alien, rock monster is going to neuter us all.

As for nomination worthy post, I say Spacedal11's shitbag post too.
MeatablePie

Professor
*
« Reply #324 on: 02-05-2014 01:36 »

You beat me to it, you flaming shitbag.    up yours

You're welcome, you cockthumping barfguzzler.

Calm down, you buttweasels.

Anyway, I'll quote anything DrT posted the very, very recent past.
HOP ON THE DRTHUNDER BANDWAGON!

Jezzem

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #325 on: 02-10-2014 04:22 »


Also, my dearest boasel, I can't show you a picture of what a cunt actually is without getting banned. smile


I can:




Have I told you recently that I love you, Tachy?
Tachyon

Space Pope
****
« Reply #326 on: 02-10-2014 05:26 »


It was a cheap shot... so I took it!

Tachyon

Space Pope
****
« Reply #327 on: 02-12-2014 03:45 »
« Last Edit on: 02-13-2014 07:22 »

Did someone deleted my post?

No, you just unintentionally posted it in the tabletop game thread. wink

Ops..  thanks... well it was the goat video anyway big grin






At least you've gotten your first argument out of the way, so you don't have to worry about that.


Hopefully the first of many to come. love

As for getting lucky on Valentine's, I pegged SolidSnake as a very innocent bloke who probably wouldn't go for it so soon. However, what do I know? Maybe his snake will be feeling especially solid that day.


Beamer

Space Pope
****
« Reply #328 on: 02-13-2014 07:30 »

As for getting lucky on Valentine's, I pegged SolidSnake as a very innocent bloke who probably wouldn't go for it so soon. However, what do I know? Maybe his snake will be feeling especially solid that day.

Brilliant.
coffeeBot

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #329 on: 02-13-2014 18:57 »
« Last Edit on: 02-15-2014 02:40 »

Awww, thanks. love

EDIT: DAMMIT, I'm dying over here.

Day four
Things were going pretty well with the new girl. We were snuggled up together, watching ultra-porn, when I made the mistake of turning to her, and looking deeply into her eyes. Before I knew it, she had thrown me to the floor, and was mounting me, air-humping my butt like a crazed baboon in mating season. In all honesty, it wasn't really too weird until she pressed her crotch against my ass and released the contents of her bladder whilst screaming "you're mine now! Don't forget that I own you!", before demurely crawling back to the couch, curling up under the duvet, and patting the sofa coquettishly as an invitation to sit back down with her.

I'm a little scared, but on the plus side, I think this means that she's my girlfriend now. As long as I don't step out of line, I think she'll be good to me...

Tachyon

Space Pope
****
« Reply #330 on: 03-04-2014 01:08 »


And for To-Day's amusement I present you a two-fer, starring Xan and The Doctor.  Honorable mention to tnuk for the setup:

So, a hospital vending machine gave me two ice cream sandwiches when I asked for one.

Best seventy-five cents spent today. It madeth me smile.

Which Catholic saint is in charge of vending machines?

There is no saint who has patronage over vending machines, however, I can think of a few who might have interceded on my behalf in this situation. The first would be St. Honorius, the patron saint of bakers, confectioners, and pastry chefs. The ice cream was between two quite delicious cookies, which could possibly have been quite pleasing to him. Another possibility would be St. Brigid, patron saint of dairy workers, who could have desired to promote her industry by being generous with the ice cream itself. Finally, the last person who comes to mind is St. Eligius, who is not only the patron saint against poverty and for coin collecting, but also for electricians, computer scientists, and mechanics.

Of course, it could also be the saint who stuffed too many ice cream sandwiches into the machine, causing it to accidentally dispense more than one. At any rate, whoever is responsible has my sincere gratitude.


A short prayer before making a selection couldn't hurt.  Call it a vendediction, if you will.


Beamer

Space Pope
****
« Reply #331 on: 03-04-2014 04:10 »

This whole run of posts cracked me up (first one included for context):

Only vaguely related and a completely overblown story, but still hilarious: Pope says 'fuck' or 'penis' or something else nasty in Vatican address.

The Pope randomly inserts the word "penis" into his sentences?

This proves it. Winna is the Pope.

My whole world is shaken, and it feels oh so good.

I'm not sure what the big deal is, though. He's not the first pope to inappropriately insert a penis.
coffeeBot

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #332 on: 03-04-2014 06:45 »

Returning the favor- this quote made me giggle too much:

My ex gave me honoraria. It's not pleasant... frown

Meerkat54

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #333 on: 03-05-2014 20:18 »

When it gets to level 36, it'll change again.

laff
Tachyon

Space Pope
****
« Reply #334 on: 03-17-2014 22:04 »


For BF, and honourable humorous mention to coffeeBot smile



coffeeBot found this humerus.


Xanfor

Moderator
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #335 on: 03-19-2014 22:21 »

Oh, and by the way, Tnuk, you're under arrest for misuse of the Queen's gold to fund a moonbase with laser cannon defenses.

Quote
I don't have anything to argue against here, I'd just like to clarity: All genuine attempts to cheer someone up are good and should be encouraged, even if they don't actually help. (Unless, y'know, someone's trying to help you by enchanting a Bludger to almost kill you. Then it's okay.)

Quote
"Weasel-whacking dickfarmer" is a subjective term. I might not actually be a weasel-whacking dickfarmer, you just think that I'm a weasel-whacking dickfarmer. But maybe I am a weasel-whacking dickfarmer. So what? I've the right to be. If I've the right to be a weasel-whacking dickfarmer, then I've the right and the obligation to suffer the consequences of being a weasel-whacking dickfarmer, which are both being called a "weasel-whacking dickfarmer" and possibly feeling bad about being called a weasel-whacking dickfarmer.

Quote
Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean you should do it or that it's a good idea. What if I want to electrocute my puppy? It's my puppy! I have the right to do whatever I want to it! You know what, I'm going to go electrocute a puppy just to prove you wrong.
If you have the right to electrocute your puppy (which is probably against the law, but I'm sure it happens anyway from time to time), then you also have the right and the responsibility to deal with the consequences. Having the right isn't always a good thing--take, for example, the right to remain silent.
(Oh no, my puppy is dead now.)

Quote
I drew a little chart about the difference between normal unhappiness (which is what I am arguing that [virtually] everyone has the right to feel, even about their own mistakes and their consequences) and self-pity.

totalnerduk

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #336 on: 03-20-2014 22:31 »

I came here to nominate that chart. I see that Xanfor has beaten me to it. May he experience the uncontrollable urge to lick the ears of a stranger in public!*

*As curses go, you might not think that this is much. But I think that for Xanfor in particular, this would be a particularly horrifying scenario. If not, please accept my apologies and I'll go think up something a little more awful.
Meerkat54

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #337 on: 03-20-2014 23:19 »

Motor Oil is a nomination-worthy post herself. Whoever she is, I like her. She's got blazin' fire in 'er heart, hot damn! Don't pick a fight with this chick. tongue laff
Mr Snrub

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #338 on: 03-20-2014 23:39 »

Did she draw a preg belly on the un-productive person, then decide against it?
Motor Oil

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #339 on: 03-20-2014 23:47 »

Did she draw a preg belly on the un-productive person, then decide against it?

It was supposed to be a fat belly (cause of ice cream) but I thought it would look pregnant, and being pregnant is productive.
Mr Snrub

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #340 on: 03-20-2014 23:56 »

I suppose, if being re-productive counts.

that may have been your joke in the first place and I just completely spelled it out.
TheBPB11

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #341 on: 03-21-2014 20:07 »

Motor Oil is a nomination-worthy post herself. Whoever she is, I like her. She's got blazin' fire in 'er heart, hot damn! Don't pick a fight with this chick. tongue laff
What's up with the trend of new posters being so incredibly good?  Well except for that one guy talking about closing his Facebook....

Hopefully this one won't leave after about a month, like a certain laser captain.
JoshTheater

Space Pope
****
« Reply #342 on: 03-22-2014 06:27 »

Motor Oil seems like a fake account of tnuk's. Which isn't an insult, at least if it's not true.
Beamer

Space Pope
****
« Reply #343 on: 03-25-2014 11:50 »

M0le does it again.

Here is a turtle made out of a pineapple, a carrot, and some weiners for legs.
He is being impaled by lots of chicken skewers:


That's probably the most adorable thing I've ever wanted to eat.

It's kebabs (and possibly pineapple) all the way down, I'm afraid.
Meerkat54

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #344 on: 03-25-2014 23:26 »

I only loved the quote because I recognized it as a Yogscast reference, but now that I know that it isn't originally a Yogscast quote, I'm somewhat disappointed but enlightened at the knowledge I have recieved. But shame on you M0le, for making me think otherwise! mad
coffeeBot

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #345 on: 03-31-2014 20:30 »

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You just need one if you want to do other things afterward.

*snicker*
Beamer

Space Pope
****
« Reply #346 on: 04-09-2014 06:28 »

I don't know anyone who speaks Spanish, but my sister is trying to learn it, so maybe in years when/if she's fluent she can translate it, if you're still interested. tongue

Yes, I'm still interested!  Let me know soon!

WitchRaven is officially the greatest PEELer who ever PEELed.

At least, since KurtPikachu, anyway.

Because they're totally not the same person. shifty
Xanfor

Moderator
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #347 on: 04-12-2014 15:44 »

No. PEEL uses no form of encryption between the site and your browser. Your password is clearly visible to anyone who can view your web traffic.

And strangely, so has most SSL connections in the past two years.  Moreover, the Heartbleed bug also allows access to anything in the memory of the server at the time.  Which means non-SSL connections were actually more safe during the past two years.
ShepherdofShark

Space Pope
****
« Reply #348 on: 04-13-2014 13:29 »

Legit Lego

Say this quote out loud. You'll like the world slightly more than you did before.
Xanfor

Moderator
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #349 on: 04-17-2014 04:45 »

I have given some thought to what I would like engraved on the inside of my wedding band.

How about this:

Ash nazg durbatulūk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulūk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

It's a traditional declaration of unity, in one of the world's most ancient languages. Nothing will speak greater volumes about the love you share than this.

I think that might a bit long to fit on the inside of a band. It also will be visible even when not heated up.

These two are so very perfect for each other.
Tachyon

Space Pope
****
« Reply #350 on: 04-21-2014 01:17 »

You know, on account of I am a pimp.

You pimp children? I think you're logged into the wrong account, Freako. no no


Is that really a fair comparison? Pimping out children for the depraved enjoyment of others and wanting to bone 'em yourself are two very different things.

Neither are very good things, but whatever.


UnrealLegend

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #351 on: 04-25-2014 01:16 »

Fuck them happy bitches.

That's the plan.
Meerkat54

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #352 on: 04-27-2014 22:17 »


Mr Snrub

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #353 on: 04-27-2014 23:19 »

Last night I had a dream that my dog was pregnant. Weirdest sex dream ever.
No bullshit. Setup and punch line. Love it.
Motor Oil

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #354 on: 04-29-2014 00:07 »

I know coffeeBot just won POTM, but this post is still nomination-worthy.

Naturally, a woman standing outside MUST be a prostitute. Kinda like how a woman walking outside with groceries wants to be called 'baby' and 'thunder thighs'. It helps their fragile self-esteem.
Meerkat54

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #355 on: 04-29-2014 22:24 »

Meanwhile, female defecation takes place in the form of fingernail cleanings: feces gradually sprout from the pores underneath the nails and are pushed away from the fingers during masturbation, when sweat and vaginal juices work through the dried coating, forcing it from the skin as the body reaches maximal temperature.

laff
Beamer

Space Pope
****
« Reply #356 on: 04-30-2014 07:03 »

coffeeBot does it again:

I find that my attraction to men is positively correlated with their proficiency in statistics.

It's not necessary a causal relationship, of course.
Tachyon

Space Pope
****
« Reply #357 on: 05-01-2014 02:43 »

Local Subway is hiring for nights and weekends. 10-15 hours a week. Sounds perfect for me.

Are you sure food service is the best career choice? I'm not sure they make hairnets big enough to contain your mighty 'fro.
Motor Oil

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #358 on: 05-06-2014 00:25 »

Strip Monopoly. Loser has to take off a garment. You could have somebody naked in under a week!

Wait till you see what happens when you land on free parking.
Tachyon

Space Pope
****
« Reply #359 on: 05-11-2014 00:45 »

I got new glasses:


You are a female Nibblonian Leader.

Technically, she was around first, so he's a male HoJay.


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