Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread (nom nom nom)

[Reply #600 on:]

From the Stockroom

Im too far away to make it to SDCC so Im expecting one of you to kidnap a toynami employee and hold him hostage until they sort them selves out, do it for me

Hahaha omg I laffed so hard at this. I'm still laffing

Damn I would really like to go. But I am scared of flying alone

That's why geese fly in Vs.

[Reply #601 on:]

If you choose to disbelieve Randi and think that this is a choose your own unadventure, click here.  If you believe Randi that this isn't a choose your own unadventure, don't click here.

[Reply #602 on:]

Hahaha, I was gonna nom that one too but you beat me to it

[Reply #603 on:]

Two hands are not enough hands!

Ain't that the truth...

[Reply #604 on:]

The thing is, if you're with someone and you're having to wonder whether you've made the wrong choice then maybe you have made the wrong choice. If you're always looking at other men and wishing you could hump their legs, you've made the wrong choice.

This whole post is full of sound advice and should therefore be considered nom-worthy in its entirety, but this bit in particular amused me something fierce.

[Reply #605 on:]

you'd log in and it would have a bunch of pics of rainbows and ponies and bunnies etc. for when onlookers were near by.

I support this idea!

[Reply #606 on:]

Love reading through these. I feel sad that I don't have enough wit to ever be nominated though.

Show spoiler

(on an unrelated note, why are ponies taking over this site? Sure I've seen all MLP eps and it's great and I get the bronie-ness, but really I come here to talk Futurama and most of you are talkin ponies instead )[/spoilers]

[Reply #607 on:]

They do it to drive the normal non-Brony people crazy.

[Reply #608 on:]

Shh it's like the Chupacabra...you speak its name and they'll appear! Everyone hit the deck!

* futurefreak ducks

[Reply #609 on:]

I thought that was Candlejack. Then again I could be wro........

[Reply #610 on:]

There is lots of creative work done in the irc/IM convo thread, by posting selective bits of posts. I looked over Shep's ground rules and didn't see any prohibitions, so...

...Definitely enough to warrant good care and any live probing to be done with the left hand...

[Reply #611 on:]

Rant: Yesterday I thought it was Wednesday so I was all excited for Futurama. Woke up this morning and realized I was was wrong .

Awww. Well your Futurama boner will come back soon.

[Reply #612 on:]

Don't celebrate yet, the Greeks are already working up a plan to get Germany to hand over all their goals to Greece.

[Reply #613 on:]

I fought back in school. One time I hit a kid so hard he died of a brain aneurysm.

It was the best outcome for everybody.

[Reply #614 on:]

Quick question: Aren't pretty much all virginities of the in-and-out variety?

[Reply #615 on:]

Not to mention how much Zapp outweighs Fry; if he loses the girdle, he could bitch slap Fry with his flabby belly

[Reply #616 on:]

I'm still alive though . I never bought a hat while I was in Rome.

They're biding their time.  Waiting for the right moment.  Plotting.  The Gypsy Sword of Damocles will descend. 

[Reply #617 on:]

I pay taxes.  Taxes go to hospitals.  Then logically - to me at least - I should be able to walk in there sick and get treated without having to pay.  Because I already pay taxes.

I pay taxes. Taxes go to farm subsidies. Ponies live on farms. Logically, I should have a pony and be able to take care of it without having to pay. Because I already pay taxes.

Vermin Supreme 2012!

His logic is irrefutable!

[Reply #618 on:]

It's not that outrageous.

The "rights" and "limitations" you refer to were intentionally put there to stop the government from gaining too much power in certain areas. Calling the Constitution a "little plan" demonstrates an appalling sense of apathy regarding what it was the framers of the document were trying to prevent from occurring. Their intent was that the government was supposed to not be able to do a great deal of things.

Am I the only one who thinks it's funny that over time the US has become closer and closer to the society that the declaration of independence was framed in revolt against?

I mean, the majority of Americans are governed from another state, and the majority of government decisions that affect all states can now be made without full representation. Wasn't that one of the kick-starters of the rebellion? There's also the fact that the President these days  is typically from a particular class which could be regarded as the modern aristocracy. The wealthy, societally elite who have little to no connection to the common man as did men like Washington, Lincoln, and Cleveland. Isn't that one of the things that Americans point to today as something they "escaped" - y'know, the whole inherited power being passed around a small circle of families whilst the majority of the population are as likely to be able to advance their social standing or political ideals as a housefly is to pen an opera?

Then there are the issues surrounding tax. America didn't like being taxed by Britain and getting squat in return (in Britain's defence, she was fighting Napoleon around that time and needed every penny she could scrounge to fight the sort of despot that America wipes out nowadays as a routine operation just because she can). At the time, America was taxed by the British government for things like playing cards, sugar, (luxuries, basically) and to provide barracks for troops (who were there to keep order when Americans rioted in protest at their playing cards being pricey). Now, Americans are unhappy because although their playing cards and sugar are nice and cheap, they have to pay for basic necessities such as healthcare (Britain, meanwhile, has a socialised medical programme that provides free healthcare to most of the population).

Finally, Americans usually point to the British troops being stationed in the colonies to keep order as a good reason to have kicked the British out. America is now the largest contributor to the foreign deployments in "hotspots" around the world, to keep order. This order is something that needs to be kept, in many cases, because America has managed to piss off the locals somehow.

America has become that which they were formed to fight. She has gazed too long into the abyss, and is now the new British Empire.

[Reply #619 on:]

Why does it seem to only be able to make babies with female humans? I mean, the alien aliens can jump onto anybody's face and BAM, alien. So why can't the Predalien guy facefuck men? Is he a homophobe?

Game Boys are famous for shrugging off abuse that would break less sturdy entertainment devices like cell phones, MP3 players, and concrete blocks.

Bold added by me to show the best part.

[Reply #620 on:]

Unless it's an imperative like "On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!" or "On, Wisconsin!"

[Reply #621 on:]

He's a young Scotsman with an ancient grudge against the world. She's a sexually frustrated power-seller on eBay. Together, via the power of the internet they fight crime!

"Net Police". Coming this autumn from NBC.

[Reply #622 on:]

I repeat this nomination

No you don't. It has passed its use by date and could potentially stink up the thread and make it mouldy.

Make sure your link/quote is for the relevant month

[Reply #623 on:]

The search function on this forum really needs to be improved.  Before posting certain things I've performed multiple detailed advanced searches and after not finding anything I go ahead and post, only to find out soon after that someone else did begin a thread on something similar.  It's quite frustrating to say the least.

Quoted for truth.

[Reply #624 on:]

Meh, see my reply in that same thread, Danny. The tools are only as good as the people who use them.

even with the misspelled name:

I was just sort of scanning posts and saw Firsco's line about parties and Rainbow Dash.  I thought to myself, "Isn't that more of a Pinkie Pie thing?"

I sat there for a moment wondering how the fuck I'd know a thing like that.

Bahaha, Xanfor.

Practical planned sex just seems like it would be boring.

You can either have maybe-sex of slowly and randomly increasing quality, or guaranteed strategically-planned sex personally oriented toward you and your partner's mutual goals for physical, mental, and emotional satisfaction.

The choice seems obvious to me. You may appreciate a state of uncertainty and erotic stagnation, however.

[Reply #625 on:]

It gives other particles Mass! Obviously it's the Catholic particle.

[Reply #626 on:]

I would steal all your cats. That's what I want to do when I'm older .

[Reply #627 on:]

A certain Han Solo quote (addressing Luke Skywalker) concerning Princess Leia came immediately to mind when I read this reply.  And, like Han, I am still undecided...

Boasel - my job includes taking care of boarding animals. It can be an enormous pain in the butt. Some of those darling little pets are all sweetness and light at home, and become horrible little rage-monsters in an unfamiliar setting. Cats aren't capable of inflicting as much damage as a big dog (especially if you're wearing anti-cat armor), but they can be spiteful little bastages.

Is this anti-cat armor based on an iron substrate?  It would make sense for it to be Fe-lined.

[Reply #628 on:]

She's not eligible but this needs to be here (the "he" being Books in this context):

Shove said stuffed animal down his throat and choke him with it.

I hate to say this, but he would probably enjoy that.

[Reply #629 on:]

I thought it was shit.

Oh, the subtlety.

[Reply #630 on:]

had a pretty messed up dream last night. Dreamt that I grew to about 50 feet tall. I was roaming some large city and I start getting hungry. I decide to head to the fast food district and just take whatever I want. Along the way I run into an attractive blonde, who also grew to about 50 feet. I convince her that we should have sex and everyone else will just have to deal with it. We start taking off her lothes, then all of a sudden, she starts shrinking, turns into a Dog, then runs off. I then shrink down to my normal size and people start crowding around me, because I'm naked in the midle of the street. Then several people randomly disappear and the rest of the people transform into Steve Carell.

For the bold part.

[Reply #631 on:]

I saw the first episode, live.  Did you? 

Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.

[Reply #632 on:]

Let's Race! Fuck Yeah!

That'd be like racing a cheetah. With a jetpack. Who's just taken some NoDoz and washed 'em down with twenty espresso shots.

[Reply #633 on:]

It wasn't really a love story.  Jack isn't meant to be a compatible partner for Rose; the whole story was about Rose coming to age, and Jack's presence was only for purpose to that end.  That's why when he dies he doesn't say something like "I love you!", "Don't forget me!", etc.  Instead he says "Promise me you'll never let go!" or some bullshit like that, as it was meant to exemplify the fact that she'd reached the stage the mcguffin intended.  Note that she promises to never let go and pushes his half-lifeless corpse into the fucking ocean just before she's rescued.  Rose is a stuck up bitch, fuck her.  Also, the whole story is told from old Rose Bitch's perspective and most of it is probably a fucking lie.

This post made me laugh out loud, for some reason. "Old Rose Bitch"? Such anger, winna!

[Reply #634 on:]

If rule34 is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Everything Bender says in The Butterjunk Effect.

I agree with UrinalLegend.

^ Sly...

[Reply #635 on:]

but there was another indication that the writers intend to keep screwing with continuity the way that a sex addict keeps going back to the dirtiest whore in town, even though he knows that her sex parts are a festering soup of diseases.

I want this quote on a sampler.

[Reply #636 on:]

I've got a big, black, shiny monster sitting under my desk as I type this.

[Reply #637 on:]

That's the best thing I never saw!

After reading your post, I decided to vote for Bev purely to piss you off.

[Reply #638 on:]

I agree with UrinalLegend.

^ Sly...

It's nice to know someone is picking up on my needlessly insulting people who have done no wrong. And that said behavior apparently is entertaining someone other than me!

[Reply #639 on:]

Somebody added it to the wiki as well (I think it was tnuk), so it would appear that others are noticing as well.