Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread (nom nom nom)

[Reply #560 on:]

Incidentally I find the entire concept of "political correctness" completely and utterly retarded

[Reply #561 on:]

Does anyone know where I can legally download the song 'Cherry Man' by The Wannadies? I can't find it on iTunes or Amazon or anywhere...

Check your PM box. I think you'll find it helpful.

Not sure if srs or just tnukmail.

Another one. DrT is becoming very underrated methinks

You could have kept growing it and sold it to a wig maker so you'd have the money to move away from your horrible parents

...Only to learn that they had sold their hair to a wig maker to move away from Randi.

[Reply #562 on:]

Freako sayz
"tell maz that they don't allow any kind of blade shaped object at the hospital
"because people would cut themselves
on purpose"

but they allow them access to the internet? Logic fail there. Have they SEEN the internet?

I cut myself on the internet all the time!

Just Maz, btw. The other two are quoted for context and I couldn't be bothered nesting them.

[Reply #563 on:]

I was going to nominate that Maz one too, that post was great.

[Reply #564 on:]

All the talking in this thread has totally killed my boner.

Oh wait, it's coming back. There we go.

[Reply #565 on:]

This is top notch POTM material, of the first water!

In this adventure, our eponymous hero discovers a surprise after a long days toiling in the Software Engineering mines...

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

[Reply #566 on:]

Unfortunately you can be raped many times.

There are four things that are always brilliant.

Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

[Reply #567 on:]

Really? Of all the brilliant posts I've made in the last month, that's the one you nominate? Really?

[Reply #568 on:]

There is one thing that is always awful.

Serial comma.

[Reply #569 on:]

Yeah tnuk thinks rape, murder, arson, and rape are the best.

Truly proof that he must always be taken literally. Nevermind that his lady love would eviscerate him.

[Reply #570 on:]

1/4 of a page deleted. I'm sure there's a reason why extended chat and discussion is largely prohibited here.

Oh yeah, we actually have a message board for that (and a pretty damn good one). Use it.

[Reply #571 on:]

No, this will be the definitive sign heralding the arrival of the end:

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

[Reply #572 on:]

Non-American bacon is scary. I am scared.

And here I thought we were all on the same page for all this time. I would say "bacon is awesome" and my british and canadian friends would agree. Now it turns out we weren't even talking about the same thing. So much for cultural understanding...I now officially hate all cultures aside from my own*!

*And also my own, for the most part.

[Reply #573 on:]

Someone just listed their entire Toynami collection. Sooo when you asked how much they'd be worth nacirema...that's how much someone thinks they are worth. I am tempted to individually itemize each piece and see how close they are...

Im a very sarcastic person, Im sure that'll come across more on here in the future for that price I expect the guy to personally deliver them to my door and give me a hand job

Hahaha...ain't that the truth.

[Reply #574 on:]

TheAnvil thinks that The Simpsons is better than ever. Their opinion on whether or not a comedy cartoon's quality is beginning to wane is invalid.

[Reply #575 on:]

Quote the Nibbs:

While I often associate tnuk with cats, you, sir, are no raven.

Nevermore.

[Reply #576 on:]

[IMG*]http://AWESOME GIF[/img]

[Reply #577 on:]

Give a cold man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a cold man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

[Reply #578 on:]

UrinalLegume, that's an old joke, not anything he came up with on his own.

[Reply #579 on:]

I thought that might be the case, but it was still amusing.

[Reply #580 on:]

I'm pretty sure it was originally said by Terry Pratchett. Or whoever he stole it from.

[Reply #581 on:]

Don't forget to scroll down and nominate here, everyone (or rather, a few people and myself).

[Reply #582 on:]

Bend-err for this post from 2 years ago...

Just Chris? I remember that name... woah.

I don't.

no shit, you weren't even born 5 years ago.

[Reply #583 on:]

• Make sure your link/quote is for the relevant month, although as long as it is recent that shouldn't be a problem.
  

You really should kind of UNDERSTAND what this thread is for before you try and use it.

[Reply #584 on:]

may the 4th be with you!

More proof that unfunny things remain unfunny no matter how many times you say them.

Oh lighten up :P

For boasel's light heartedness, not Frisky's cynicism.

See how it works, Donny?

[Reply #585 on:]

I nominate that same quote but FOR Frisco's cynicism.

[Reply #586 on:]

I was SO going to eliminate your doublepost, SoSypants. I was looking for the edit button and everything.

You have no power here, Capper the Gray. Although you have earned yourself a nom worthy post post, yet lost within a quote of yourself. Can you be sure you really said it?

Bwahahahahaha!.

[Reply #587 on:]

While I often associate tnuk with cats, you, sir, are no raven.

Nevermore.

Edgar Allen Poe would be rolling underneath the floorboards.

[Reply #588 on:]

SoS: Get away from this thread you BITCH!

Neeed to remember this. Shiftyfaz has deserving shit going on etc/

[Reply #589 on:]

I hope you didn't wear a condom, Danny! Condoms are for suckers.

and you all didn't think he deserves it.

[Reply #590 on:]

SO many...

DrThunder88 is becoming grossly underrated now...

This could be the baby and wiener dog caper of the century!

Watch me and two of my friends act like we know what we're talking about when mess around with computers.  Now available with English subtitles.

Worst. Porno. Ever.

Totally.  I mean, 18 minutes?  What's up with that?

And I've only gotten 2 records framed out of 11.

2 out of 11?  That has to be some kind of record!

I love how they think hugging is the most serious thing in a relationship. That is just adorable.

IT'S NOT?!

and throw a svip in here for good measure

Pumpkinpie: you're lucky SGB has a girlfriend already

(His girlfriend is not.)

[Reply #591 on:]

He was certainly never underrated by me...  Thunderrated, maybe, you know; now that's a different story  Oh, your gloodness, I so completely conpurrcur with the bouncy pussy gem though; I had been thinking the autre day to put that in here myself!  Cutest haters-meme-thing ever that I've personally seen and it raised quite the pleasederish smile, from me, a whiles ago, when I saw it.

plus also, it reminds me of that little game I linked once, Sushi Cat.

..The "record" pun did cause me a chortle or three too; but then it would.

whilst I'm here affirming thunderous things then,

I'm eating a salad right now, and it's like my brain is having a fucking orgasm!!!  This salad is so fucking delicious, that I am satiated with excitement, fulfillment, and pure pleasured happiness!!!!!!

...Ok?

I wish my bayonet matches resulted in a Duke Nukem Forever.

[Reply #592 on:]

Allow me to give PEEL a look into the mind of a Xanfor:

Ponies.

[Reply #593 on:]

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

The numbers on the right hand side of the equals sign are just like the numbers you know.  The numbers on the left hand side of the equals sign, on the other hand, do not represent the values that you're normally used to working with; re-evaluate them based on the numbers on the right side of the equals sign.

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

The author has intentionally subverted the meaning of the symbols used and appropriated them in a contextual manner, rather than the generally universal value they normally represent.  Symbols on the right side of the equation are equivalent to their generally understood value, while symbols on the left side have been assigned new values which must be logically deduced to solve the answer.  An easier way to imagine the puzzle would be to replace all of the symbols on the left side of the equation, in a manner thusly:
0=A 1=B 2=C 3=D 4=E 5=F 6=G 7=H 8=I 9=J

IIAJ = 6               FFFF = 0
HBBB = 0               IBJD = 3
CBHC = 0               IBJD = 5
GGGG = 4               BABC = 1
BBBB = 0               HHHH = 0
DCBD = 0               JJJJ = 4
HGGC = 2               HHFG = 1
JDBD = 1               GIFF = 3
AAAA = 4               JIIB = 5
CCCC = 0               FFDB = 0
DDDD = 0               CFIB = ???

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

Using the above example, or even working with the example originally provided (as long as we understand that symbols on the left side of the equation do not equal the values we normally associate with them) we can determine what values the author assigned to each symbol.

The easiest deductive method would be to take the simplest equations out and examine them in their given context like so:

0000 (AAAA) = 4
1111 (BBBB) = 0
2222 (CCCC) = 0
3333 (DDDD) = 0
5555 (FFFF) = 0
6666 (GGGG) = 4
7777 (HHHH) = 0
9999 (JJJJ) = 4

We're still missing a few values though: 4 (E) and 8 (I), but we should be able to eventually surmise their value from the more complex equations.  We can also throw out a hypothesis and presume for a moment that the operator working on each equation is additive, rather than subtractive, or multiplicative.  Of the values we can determine that do not operate with themselves to create 0, we have: 0 (A), 6 (G), and 9 (J).  We can hypothesize that the operator is additive because all of the equations contain 4 symbols, and of the simple equations, the corresponding equivalent is always 4.  If all the values associated with the symbols are integers, then we can assume that it is additive because there is no fourth root of 4 that is an integer or whole number.  If this is the case then the values for 0 (A), 6 (G), and 9 (J) are all 1.

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

By working with the more complex equation we can try to confirm our hypothesis that the operator in the equations is always addition.  Just by looking at the equation, it seems that our hypothesis about addition is a rational one.  There are no negative values associated in the equations, nor fractions, and all of the values don't extend past 6.  At this point we can further hypothesize that all associated values are rather small since the solution to any of the given equation is not greater than 6.

The complex equations follow:

8809 (IIAJ) = 6
7662 (HGGC) = 2
9313 (JDAD) = 1
8193 (IBJD) = 3
8096 (IAJG) = 5
1012 (BABC) = 1
6855 (GIFF) = 3
9881 (JIIB) = 5

Going by our hypothesis we can attempt to check it by plugging in our guesses into the equations:

8809 = 6   ->   I + I + 1 + 1 = 6
7662 = 2   ->   0 + 1 + 1 + 0 = 2
9313 = 1   ->   1 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 1
8193 = 3   ->   I + 0 +1 + 0 = 3
8096 = 5   ->   I + 1 + 1 + 1 = 5
1012 = 1   ->   0 + 1 + 0 + 0 = 1
6855 = 3   ->   1 + I + 0 + 0 = 3
9881 = 5   ->   1 + I + I + 0 = 5

Using our suspicions, three of the eight equations give us correct responses when we plug in our hypothetical values and operators.  This seems to indicate that our hypothesis is likely correct.

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

Well, that's all well and good.  However, we still haven't determined what the values of 4 (G) and 8 (I) are.  Well, it turns out that none of the equations contain 4 on the left side of the equation, so that removes an unknown that we extraneously added to help trick us up along the way.  It was easy to plant it there though, since the symbol for 4 does appear on the right hand side of three (3) separate equations.  Oh except the puzzle tricked us and that 4 isn't the same 4 that we might find on the left hand side of the equation because the author chose to use symbols in a context oriented manner.

If we keep pushing our hypotheses, then what we've got left as a key is that:
0 (A) = 1
1 (B) = 0
2 (C) = 0
3 (D) = 0
5 (F) = 0
6 (G) = 1
7 (H) = 0
8 (I) = ???
9 (J) = 1

We're also left with the following complex equations:

8809 = 6   ->   I + I + 1 + 1 = 6
8193 = 3   ->   I + 0 +1 + 0 = 3
8096 = 5   ->   I + 1 + 1 + 1 = 5
6855 = 3   ->   1 + I + 0 + 0 = 3
9881 = 5   ->   1 + I + I + 0 = 5

Using algebra we can simplify these down to the following equations:

I + I = 4
I = 2
I = 2
I = 2
I + I = 4

Well, that looks pretty conclusive and fits in with our hypothesis.  Therefore we can generally conclude that 8 (I) on the left hand side of the equation has a value of 2 (two).  This also seems to help confirm our hypothesis further as well.

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

All that's left to do is solve the original equation the puzzle implicitly asked us to solve:

2581 (CFIB) = ???

We can just simply plug in our values and operators, turn in our answer, and presume that it's correct:

0 + 0 + 2 + 0 = 2

Assuming all of our deductive logic and work thus far isn't faulty; there's very little doubt in that department, we can generally say that the answer to the question is 2 (too).

Spoiler warning! Click to show/hide!

The author was trying to trick us the whole time though!  Yeah, definitely, by subverting the meaning of the symbols which most of us take for granted as to their understood meaning and giving them a new contextual meaning it's clear that the author was cheating from the beginning.  8 =/= 2 silly, 8 = 8!  The author also deliberately made the puzzle more complicated by including all of the symbols from 0 to 9 throughout the given examples.  Remember that 4 was never used on the left side of the equations at all!  Furthermore, the author jumbled up the equations in an attempt to make the problem look even more complicated than it seemed.  Had the author given the first equations in the manner demonstrated next, you probably would have guessed that something needed to be plugged in and figured out the values for the simple substitution:

AAAA = 4
BBBB = 0
CCCC = 0
DDDD = 0
FFFF = 0
GGGG = 4
HHHH = 0
JJJJ = 4

If those had been the first eight (2) examples, you probably would've guessed easily that A (0), G (6), and J (9) = 1; you would have also probably assumed more quickly that B (1), C (2), D (3), F (5), and H (7) equal zero (1).  The puzzle isn't really that difficult at that point, but the author never intended to play fair.  We use context for a lot of things in our everyday lives.  Words can contain multiple meaning dependent upon how you read them or even how you hear them (like homophones).  Words are merely collections of symbols, and symbols themselves when organized correctly.  It's possible you're not even reading this post; you might just be looking at a collection of fancy symbols scribbled on an internet page.  The only inherent value these symbols have is the ones we give them; given the context, this isn't just a big picture that I've draw in mspaint, it's a collection of symbols denoted to hold sound (when read aloud) and meaning.  For communication purposes we have a social contract to make the meanings and values we use clearly understood by all parties who have need or desire to find or use that meaning and that intrinsic value.  The author of this puzzle tricked you because shklee knew that you would take that part of the social contract for granted.

Also this:

The Cat in the Cat

You watch cat porn?

I spotted the error myself, but couldn't think of an appropriate jibe. Well done, Donny Danny.

[Reply #594 on:]

Let's get this straight! If you want Futurama S&M, you talk to me! If you want alien/time-shifted/just plain weird sex, Freako is your man. 

[Reply #595 on:]

I know it's got the overall statistics, but I'm more interested in last week. I guess I could sift through 100 posts and do it myself, but hobbitboy might have some sort of magical wizard power that does it automatically. Or something.

You mean a spreadsheet?

Spreadsheets are my favorite computer game.  It's like Minecraft with numbers.

[Reply #596 on:]

A man slapping precious Leela? How vulgar! Here comes KurtPicachu...

[Reply #597 on:]

Moderators can feel free to delete my posts in this thread now.

Consarn it, winna, you've been trolling me too successfully lately!

[Reply #598 on:]

I'm exactly 6 feet tall. Tall enough to be over average, while still short enough to headbutt winna in the trachea. Pretty much ideal, in my opinion.

[Reply #599 on:]

Great idea.  Give Derek a blowjob for me.