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Author Topic: I Can't Believe it's Another Quote Game!!!  (Read 6483 times)
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Liquid Emperor
« Reply #680 on: 08-24-2004 04:38 »

Here's one.

Cop: Sir, is this your car?

Me: Ahh, its my girlfriends. Actually its not hers its her dads.

Cop: Uh huh.

Me: (very nervisly) Actually she's not my girlfriend, she just lives next door and never closes her cutains.

Fry in "The lesser of two evils". Good episode.  laff   laff


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #681 on: 08-24-2004 04:41 »

Who's complaining?  I just said it was screwing with my mind.

Me: Guys, it's me! Your lovable dispatcher!  Sees ticket pad not going away.  Uh-oh!
Any given officer: Wait, I know you. You're the sleazebag who sent me on the Hospice death right before I was supposed to go to lunch.
Me: Not anymore.  Now I'm the sleazebag who's sending you on a mental committal right before you're going to go home.
-Bender paraphrased from "Birdbot..."
-Bender and the Commissioner paraphrased from "ALohO"

Urban Legend
« Reply #682 on: 08-24-2004 15:40 »

Me: *reaching for license*
Cop: He's making a break for it! Get him!
Me: No, I was just getting my license!
Cop: He's getting his license! Get him! *starts beating me with night stick*
Me: Ow! Hey, watch it, that's a tender place! You're totally out of control!
Cop: You know the law. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Me: *running away* Whoop whoop whoop whoop!

-Smitty paraphrased from "Bender gets made"
-Fry paraphrased from "Bender gets made"
-Fry "My three suns"
-Leela "SP3K"
-Zoidberg (many episodes)

Starship Captain
« Reply #683 on: 08-25-2004 06:38 »

It's been a little over 24 hours, and although it was a tough decision, I'll have to give the win to Zoidberg227! your turn!  smile

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #684 on: 08-25-2004 09:06 »

Damnit. Why did I have to lose my internet connection. Stupid thunderstorm! Maybe God shates me.

Anyway this would've been my entry.

Female cop: "Excuse me sir, may I see you license." (I hand it to her) "Sir this card is expired."
Me: "But it's good for a lifetime."
FC: "Well yours expired. And why are your speeding in a 30 km/h area?"
Me: "I'm trying to catch a monster not find the quickest route to the mall!" (speeds off)

 - Wanda, Farnsworth and Leela, "Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurddles"

Bending Unit
« Reply #685 on: 08-25-2004 20:56 »

Good effort Teral

Space Pope
« Reply #686 on: 08-26-2004 02:58 »
« Last Edit on: 08-26-2004 02:58 »

Huzzah!  I won, even with Dr. T. playing!  In your face, everyone who hasn't beat him!

Speaking of ... your team, who has had a very mediocre season, just finished playing the only undefeated team in the league, who is no longer undefeated.  What do you say?

Space Pope
« Reply #687 on: 08-26-2004 12:49 »
« Last Edit on: 08-26-2004 12:49 »

Friend: Hazzah!
Me: We live to suck again!
Friend: Oh wait, you wre serious?

Bender-The Sting & Love & Rocket.

And one more thing, why is everyone who's recently won being a jerk about it? It's not the Olympics guys. It's a game created by a bunch of nerds!

Bending Unit
« Reply #688 on: 08-26-2004 19:56 »
« Last Edit on: 08-26-2004 19:56 »

My team, to the other team (singing): L-O-S-E-R-S!  Loo-o-o-osers!  L-O-S-E-R-S!  Loo-o-o-osers!  Gimmie an L! O, S!  Ers!  Loo-o-o-osers!

--Bender, "The Honking" (paraphrased)

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #689 on: 08-26-2004 23:30 »

Originally posted by Spacedal11:
And one more thing, why is everyone who's recently won being a jerk about it? It's not the Olympics guys. It's a game created by a bunch of nerds!

You see, if someone wins a lot they become beloved by all, but if they win too often they become despised, like the Yankees.  If, however, someone loses all the time but still keeps trying, everybody has a soft spot for the loveable losers, like the Cleveland Indians.  If those losers suddenly become winners, that loveable-loserism turns into full-on loveability, like the Red Wings, but if they continue to win, everyone will despise them...also like the Red Wings.

The short answer is, I hate the Red Wings...and the Yankees.

Also, my quote (yes, it's a long one):

Me: (About to exit the locker room while being handed a bottle of something)  What's this? This is the same Gatorade flavor I got last time! (Throws it back at waterboy) I can't play under these conditions, and without me there is no game. I am the game!
Teammate 1: We're back from the game!
Me: What? You went without me?
Teammate 43: You were looking up curse words in the dictionary. It seemed like a better use of your time.
Me: But, but I'm the team captain.
Teammate 1: Don't worry, everything went fine.
Teammate 43: Better than usual!
Teammate 1: We got medals! Good work team! We really pulled together on this one.
Teammate 43: Woo-hoo!
Waterboy: They got medals.

-Fry, Leela, and Bender from "TWOF"

Bending Unit
« Reply #690 on: 08-27-2004 00:25 »

DAM U DR T. I was going to do something similar but now i can't dam you

Coach:"Good News Nobody, the supercollider i ordered superexploded, killing the other team, we won by default"
Me: "Ah Default the two sweetest words in the english language. DE FAULT DE FAULT DE FAULT"

and also Homer in some simpsons episode, the one where he goes to space namely "Deep Space Homer"

Space Pope
« Reply #691 on: 08-27-2004 02:06 »
« Last Edit on: 08-27-2004 02:06 »

Ahh, that'd be "Less than Hero".  And technically, Fryrish, you must quote Futurama characters, from Futurama episodes. 

Spacedal - I don't intend to be a jerk ... I'm just joking around with people (reference to something JBERGES said at the top of page 17).  I don't dislike anyone here.

One hour to go!  Get with your entry-making! 

TIME IS UP!  It's been a tough one to judge, unlike my last scenario.

(spoilers not ahead, don't highlight to read)

Dr. T., although your description of us being jerkbags made me laugh more than anything else on this page, that doesn't count as part of your entry.  Thus, I award this round to Athena.  Huzzahs again are in order!

« Reply #692 on: 08-27-2004 04:36 »

I thought this was just too funny because you really didn't see it coming! 

Leela:  "The tracks lead here"
Fry:  "Thanks, Eagle Eye"

"The Honking"

too funny....

Space Pope
« Reply #693 on: 08-27-2004 19:03 »

You missed your cue Calvyn79. NExt round goes to Athena aparently.

Bending Unit
« Reply #694 on: 08-27-2004 20:43 »

Huzzah!  Huzzahs for everybody!  OK, now for the scenario (ridiculous but a scenario nonetheless):

You wake up and go outside to get the newspaper to see ninja monkeys in a nearby tree, pelting your car (or bike, if you're too young to drive) with rotten bananas, and they won't stop.  What do you say?

Space Pope
« Reply #695 on: 08-27-2004 21:56 »

Me: Hey! I'll give you 5 dollars to not do what your thinking of doing.
Monkey pelts my scooter (I hate bikes) 
Me:Heh heh heh, you just lost 5 dollars.

Bender-A Head in the Polls

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #696 on: 08-28-2004 00:55 »

Me: Hey, you like bananas?  (Shoots monkey)  I blew you away with a 12-guage, how do you like them bananas?

-Guenter paraphrased from "Mars University"

How coincidental that I use a quote about bananas spoken by a monkey to fit a situation involving both a monkey and bananas...

Space Pope
« Reply #697 on: 08-28-2004 00:59 »

Me: This is not happening! If I don't believe in you, you can't hurt me! (Monkeys pelt me with bananas) Oh, God! The pain!
 - Free Waterfall Jr, 'The Problem with Popplers'
 - Bender (Paraphrased), 'A X-mas Story'

Space Pope
« Reply #698 on: 08-28-2004 03:31 »

Wowsers ... I'm up against some good quotes all around.  I don't think me posting a response is in violation of the rules, but if it is, please disqualify me with all disregard to my feelings (you jerk!).

Me: That's a car, dammit!  Not a banana target!  If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angry dome!

The Professor, in "Kif Gets Knocked up a Notch".

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #699 on: 08-28-2004 12:08 »
« Last Edit on: 08-28-2004 12:08 »

Me: This is by a wide margin the least likely thing that has ever happened.  It's always so sad when a monkey goes crazy and you have to have a big barbecue and cook him! Yee-haw!
Passing Environmentalist: Stop!  There are many good reasons to eat. Hunger, boredom, wanting to be the world's fattest man. But not revenge.
Me: Look, nobody enjoys eating monkeys. But if you have to eat monkeys, well you might as well enjoy it.  Besides, I just made up 200 pounds of batter for monkey tempura.
Passing Environmentalist: OK then, it's him or us!
[We cock our guns.]

-Leela, Godfellas
-Bender, Why Must I Be A Crustacian In Love? (edited)
-Jrrr, The Problem With Popplers
-Free Waterfall Sr., The Bird-bot of Ice-Catraz (edited)

Bending Unit
« Reply #700 on: 08-28-2004 21:13 »

I loved them all, and you're all winners.  But since I have to choose one...

Congratulations, boingo2000!  You are the winner!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #701 on: 08-30-2004 01:23 »

Good work, boingo.  Let's have a new round!

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #702 on: 08-30-2004 22:43 »

Yay me!  Anyway...

You find out that somehow, one of your high school English term papers has won the Pulitzer Prize.  You say...

Space Pope
« Reply #703 on: 08-30-2004 22:59 »

'Bout time, boingo!

Me: What, me, award?  Paper, me, award?
Prize presenter: That's exactly the kind of response you'd expect from the winner of our new category, "Most Pathetic 'F'"!

Leela and pet show judge from "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid" (edited).

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #704 on: 08-31-2004 03:15 »

Mr. Generic: I now have a surprise. I will publish a paper written by the ultimate writer of papers.
Me: You have my research paper on the effects of the assault weapons ban?
Mr. Generic: I meant me! Mr. Generic is the ultimate journalist!
Me: Oh, I was confused because this Pulitzer says something different.

-Melllvar and Fry paraphrased from "Where No Fan..."

Space Pope
« Reply #705 on: 08-31-2004 19:49 »

Me: *Gasps* He's won!
Friend: Tubes? That trick is older than I thought it was!
Me: Are you saying he's going crazy?
Friend 2: He's doooooomed!
Me:Ah snap! *Pauses* Hey guys, wanna make Shrinky Dinks?

Leela edited- The Sting
Hermes & Bender- The Problem with Popplers
Fry- AOI 1 & The Why of Fry
Bender edited- Love & Rocket
« Reply #706 on: 09-01-2004 00:09 »

I can't really think of anything clever and the time to submit must be drawing near so...

Me: Take that everyone who's never one a Pulitzer prize!  And that includes you Boingo!

[3ACV18] - Anthology of Interest 2

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #707 on: 09-01-2004 09:52 »

I hereby award the title of winner to...


Space Pope
« Reply #708 on: 09-01-2004 19:56 »

What, me?  Next situation, my quote, me?

Well, so much for winning eloquently (or with originality, for that matter).

You're on the most exposed face of the world's most difficult mountain to climb, and the weather has made a big turn for the worse.  Avalanches rain down all around you, and visibility is almost zero.  You want to continue on with the summit bid, but your climbing party seems to think differently.  The ensuing discussion goes ...

Space Pope
« Reply #709 on: 09-01-2004 23:00 »

Me: Ok I'm gonna warm myself up, kick everyone else's ass, climb that mountain, and not lose any respect!

Rival heats up, climbs the mountain, kicks everyone else's ass, and wins.

Me: Alright I did it! Wait that's not me!

Fry- War is the H-Word.
David A

Urban Legend
« Reply #710 on: 09-01-2004 23:19 »

"If I die, make sure my body freezes in a dignified position.  None of that huddled over for warmth crap."

Leela, "Godfellas"

Urban Legend
« Reply #711 on: 09-01-2004 23:37 »
« Last Edit on: 09-01-2004 23:37 »

Godfellas...too easy
Cryonic Woman...too hard...

Me: It'll take more than some freezing freezing snow to stop us!
<Stumble over frozen body of earlier hiker>
Sidekick1: Aw, dip
Sidekick2: Dip indeed
Me: Burn on that last group.  The only things they did better than us were suck and die.

Leela from my favorite ep, The Sting (edited)
Fry & Nimoy from Where No Fan Was Gone Before
and Leela from the Sting again (slightly edited)

EDIT: Oh, and the first bit was Fry from TDTESS, but that's not part of my answer.
"I must go now, to collect cans on Jupiter.  Peace out, y'all!"
Tongue Luck

Starship Captain
« Reply #712 on: 09-02-2004 05:07 »
« Last Edit on: 09-02-2004 05:07 »

Welcome to PEEL, Nerd-o-rama. You've been here a day or two, and you're posting like a pro. Have a cupcake.

Deep South remix, y'all!

Fellow Climber #1: We all miss our loved ones and gases. Come on, Tongue Luck.
Me (almost incoherent): Gurgle climb gurgle mumble gurgle top!
Fellow Climber #2: You met a mime and gave him a cough drop? You can bust a rhyme, but your album was a flop?
Fellow Climber #3: You're in your prime and able to bed hop? Then how 'bout getting your old pal Fellow Climber #3 some action, Mr. Superstud?
Me: (more incoherent babble)
Fellow Climber #4: Tongue Luck, spit out that snow, then talk.
(I spit; there's a delay, then the sound of it hitting a spittoon)
Me: I'm not going with you.
Fellow Climber #4: But, Tongue Luck, what about us? What about your life on the ground? You don't belong up there.
Fellow Climber #1: Tongue Luck, you half mad, half insane maniac, be reasonable. Don't you realize that if you stay at this altitude, your body will permanently adapt to the pressure?
Fellow Climber #4: It's mountain madness, all right. Hikers call it "summit dementia," "the up high crazies," "the chilly willies," "the screaming frost."

Farnsworth (modified)=Fellow Climber #1
Fry (modified)=Me
Bender (modified)=Fellow Climber #2
Zoidberg (modified)=Fellow Climber #3
Leela (modified)=Fellow Climber #4
From various parts of The Deep South

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #713 on: 09-02-2004 09:20 »
« Last Edit on: 09-02-2004 09:20 »

More Deep South:

Me: "No, Mount Suicide is more than just a mountain. It's a quest for fame and glory undimmed before the breaking of the world."
Sidekick: "That's right, pal. Whatever you say."
Me: "Look at this summit! The sheer mountain-sides, the fantastic view, the uh, the avalanches."
Fellow climber: "But tell us, why should we continue to climb a mountain with such...  faboulous avalanches?"
mE: "Becuase if you turn back now, you'll all be ridiculed in an Adventurers Club commerce by folk-rock troubadour Donovan. Like this: "Mount Suicide was a mountain, landlocked, hundreds of miles from the area we now call the Atlantic Ocean. Yet so haunting were the mountains promises of glory and fame that people came from around the globe to climb it and make snowangels. Until the mountain retaliated and it started to send bad weather at the climbers. Loosing their courage the cowards ran away. Sidekick, Fellow Climber, What's-his-face, the guy who carried the beers, the magician and the other socalled cowards of our club, though cowards they were - also Jane Fonda was there. The others chose to keep on climbing with their bare hands, and one day eventually reach the summit, and sing and dance and frolic in the snow. Hail Mount Suicide!"
The guy who carries the beer: "The magician!?"

 - Umbriel, Fry, Leela, the Colonel and Donovan, "The Deep South"

With a little help from Elrond Half-Elven, "The Two Towers"

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #714 on: 09-02-2004 15:06 »

Boss guy: Good news everyone...
Snappy response guy: Uh oh I don't like the sound of that.
Boss guy: ...you'll be making a climb to Mount Suicide, a forboding peak in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Mountains.
Snappy response guy: Thank you and goodnight.
Me: Uh, Boss, are we even allowed on the Forbidden Mountains?
Boss guy: Why of course! Its just a name! Like the Death Mountains or The Mountains of No Return. All the mountains have names like that in The Mountain Range Of Terror!
Me: Uh, Boss...
Some guy: Off you go, pleasant trip.

-Farnsworth, Bender, and Leela paraphrased from "My Three Suns"

Delivery Boy
« Reply #715 on: 09-02-2004 20:31 »

Rnager: Excuse me, sir, but you have to go home before the avalange hits.

Me: Lick my frozen human ass!!! Heh, heh-uh, oh! (Avalange covers me in snow)

Space Pope
« Reply #716 on: 09-02-2004 20:43 »
« Last Edit on: 09-02-2004 20:43 »

Ohhh ... choices choices.  Some good entries there.  I might have to dig out a coin (pray you're not in the wrong parallel universe!).

Aww, screw the coin.  My avitar buddy got the closest reasoning as to why people (including myself) are so intrigued by climbing (though Teral's was a little funnier).  But, TL really reminded me of what my friends think of me.  So, if you haven't figured out who won by now, go ahead and highlight to read:
Tongue Luck

Starship Captain
« Reply #717 on: 09-03-2004 04:26 »

A win and a mild "even though it wasn't the funniest" burn? This calls for a celebration! *takes back Nerd-o-rama's cupcake*

This next situation comes from The Big Book of Public Domain Literature.
You wake up one morning from unsettling dreams to find yourself changed in your bed into a big, creepy roach monster. You say...?

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #718 on: 09-03-2004 04:48 »

here we go.

Me: Hey why am i stiky and coverd in honey. Did something fun happen?

Fry in "The Sting".

Ahhh Fry fry fry what ever will we do with!

Space Pope
« Reply #719 on: 09-03-2004 05:19 »

Methinks it was Teral's mention about someone carrying beer that made me laugh a little more, but I can't remember for sure ([Professor]come to think of it, I can't remember where I am now![/Professor]).  [Zoidberg]Did somebody mention something about an available cupcake?[/Zoidberg]

Anywho, since I don't recall anything in the rules telling me I can't participate again already, I'll 'ave another go at it (and, in the off chance that I win, the International Quote Game Federation will probably send a letter to my team's headquarters, addressed to me, advising me that returning my gold would be 'the right thing to do'.  Naturally, I would refuse, and laugh at all of you).  So ...

Narrator: You're entering a realm which is ... messy.  Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of nerd.  The second one.  Prepare to enter ... Andy's room.  [scene: my room.  I am asleep in my bed]  Please activate an alarm clock to wake up Andy J., a professional sleeper who is about to have an unfortunate accident. [alarm rings, I wake up, turn off the alarm, and find my way to the bathroom.]
Me: A morning that I can actually get up right when my alarm goes off?  I must be in Heaven! [I flick on the light, and, resisting all strong urges to run away and hide, look in the mirror.  Suddenly I realise what has occured.] A morning that I realize I'm a hideous roach creature?  I must really be ... in hell!  [a man appears beside me.]
Man: You're not in Heaven or hell ... you're on top of Mt. Everest!
Me: There's an avalanch destroying the mountain!  You've gotta believe me!
Man: Why should I believe you?  You're Rupert Murdoch!
Me [turning to another person next to me]: Matt Groening!  Help me!

The Scary Door sequence in "I Dated a Robot", heavily edited (most of the editing done to have it make even less sense than TSD)

The closer I get to pressing "submit reply", the more I realize I shouldn't try to be clever when I have not seen a bed for 20 hours.  Oh well!

Steward of 50,000 Zoids and 100 each of special edition Thulium and Thallium-minted Zoids.
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