I Can't Believe it's Another Quote Game!!!

[Reply #280 on:]

"Cigarettes are very very bad for you. Until you turn 21. Then they're very very good."
[Modified]Leela, The Route of All Evil.

[Reply #281 on:]

friend1:  *while walking past a dutch Coffee shop* Oh, wohoh, wait friend, as long as we're here, why don't we take some exotic smoking?
friend2: Hey great idea!
me: heeeee, but those shops aren't good, they sells some bad stuff!
friend1: Come on! It'll be fun! Maby we can even have a little fortified joint.
me : What smoking joints is a sin! Even if it is deliciously fortified.
friend2: Hey, look at this man's pipe, it's stuffed with best weed.
me: Thou shalt not snatch
friend1: And there the smoking master of 2000. He's got a lung of solid tar.
sm2000: He young smokers!
me: Stop tempting me! For once in my life I have inner peace.
friend1: That's for losers! Come on, puff your lungs out!
friend2: Go nuts!
sm2000: Take a little!
man with pipe: Could you hold my pipe for a minute?
friend1: Go for it! You know you wanna!
me: Well... hahaha!


Fry, Leela, Bender, Hookerbot500, woman with purse - all 'Hell is other robots'

[Reply #282 on:]

"Well, if it'll make a bunch of strangers think i'm cool then i'll do it"
- Bender in "hell is other robots"

[Reply #283 on:]

I Think that's 24 hours, Sm@ Cpt. Libido
needs to pick the winner. Just a reminder, but he has a full 24 hours to choose before it's the first one to post a new situation.

[Reply #284 on:]

It hasn't been twenty four hours by a long shot! OK not by a long shot but we have a couple of hours to go! You never know! You could win if you post soon!

Ok now it has been 24 hours! And so I proclaim tha the winner is:

Show spoiler

boingo2000

[Reply #285 on:]

Oh, crap!  That's me!

You're hanging out with your best friend when all of a sudden he spontiniously combusts.  You say...

[Reply #286 on:]

NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooOO!
Calculon, "Bend Her"

[Reply #287 on:]

"Oh that poor sweet friend. Well lets go gather him up. There's no sense letting him go to waste. *licks lips*

- Farnsworth, Mars University

[Reply #288 on:]

"Goodbye, sweet prince."
-Fry in AOI 1
-Farnsworth in AOI 2

[Reply #289 on:]

"Goodnight, sweet prince. You were the greatest man any of us will ever know. Well, let's get him out of here, he's starting to smell up the joint."
- Farnsworth, in 'Anthology of Interest 2'

[Reply #290 on:]

"Walshyyyyyyy!!!" (if my mates name is Walshy)

Fry in WNFHGB

[Reply #291 on:]

"was his apartment rent controlled?" leela - i, roommate

[Reply #292 on:]

"My new carpet, its ruined! [Points at Zoidberg] Your paying for that!"

Amy - Bendin' in the wind.
Hermes - Fry and The Slurm Factory

[Reply #293 on:]

How did he combust....?

"To shreds you say...."

Prof in I Roommate....

[Reply #294 on:]

Friend: Ow, fire hot!
Me: The Doccy will help!  Augh!  Fire indeed hot!

-Leela and Farnsworth in "TDTESS"

[Reply #295 on:]

"We'll bill ya for the couch."
-Hermes, I, Roommate

[Reply #296 on:]

Re: Forgetting about picking a winner. "my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!"

New situation:

"Neat!"
::takes snap shot::

 - Bender, "A Leela Of Her Own" and others

[Reply #297 on:]

Friend [on fire]: AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!
[Lots of people come running in with fire extinguishers to put the fire out]
Friend: That's better.

Bender, The Sting

[Reply #298 on:]

Wow, no one uses "Stop exploding, you coward"?.  Very well, then I proclaim DrT the winner.

[Reply #299 on:]

Very well.  It is my sacred duty to post the following.

You are on a nonstop trans-Atlantic flight when the entire crew simultaneously suffers massive myocardial infarctions.  You reach the cockpit only to find the only air traffic controller you can hear on the radio is speaking Esperanto.  What does the voice data recorder pick up?

[Reply #300 on:]

Me: We're all doomed!
Split personality #1: Doomed!
Split personality #2: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOMMED!

[Reply #301 on:]

Remaining Crew Member: Now what's your secret escape plan?
Me: Uh, I guess to sit here and wait for death.
Remaining Crew Member: Can do!
- Leela, Fry and Bender from 'Love's Labour's Lost in Space'

[Reply #302 on:]

[The sounds of infantile weeping.]
-Zoidberg, KGKUAN

EDIT: Oh, if by some crazy chance someone finds that funny and I win, I won't know about it. Someone can take my turn while I'm on the road. Like it needed to be said.. :/

[Reply #303 on:]

*after hearing that it's a different language*
Me: "We seem to be experiencing technical difficulties...and crap like I've never seen before!"

-Linda from "The Problem With Popplers"

[Reply #304 on:]

Me: Crazy gibberish! Hey don't you have a self-destruct code? Something like Code:1A-2B-3!
(plane explodes)
Me: I'm ok!
The professor in A clone of my own
George Takei in WNFHGB and
Bender in War is the H-Word!

[Reply #305 on:]

me: Oh no there is no autopilot, navigation is failing.
another guy: We're gonna crash!
me: Not if I can help it!
Oh I guess I can't. Everyone put on your seatbelts.

Leela and Fry in RTEW

[Reply #306 on:]

"You win again gravity!"

Zapp, Amazon Women in the Mood

[Reply #307 on:]

AUgh! My vision's fdading! I think I'm gonna die!
Fry, My Three Suns

[Reply #308 on:]

Fellow passenger enters cockpit after I've assesed the situation

FP:Is there a problem?
Me: Not if you've live a life without regret. *Starts screaming frantically*

- essentially what is said by Fry and Zoidberg in BitW

[Reply #309 on:]

Blackbox:  The plane whose blackbox you are listening to... has crashed into the ocean.  Please make a note of it.

Voice Recording-  AWITM

[Reply #310 on:]

First Other Passenger (who happens to be there before me): "Sweet giant anteater of Saint Anita! The crew is dead"
Me: "What?"
[Second Other Passenger gasps.]
FOP: "If y'ask me, it's mighty suspicious! We should try to communicate with the Epsperanto speaking air traffic controller. ..right after I flush some things."
Me: "Air traffic controllers? Bah! Nosy meddlers! It so happens I have mail order degrees in Murderology and Murderonomy! [pulls out a Sherlock Holmes-like hat.] Teral is afoot!"
SOP: "Are we boned?"
FOP: "Yeah, we're boned."

 - Hermes, Zoidberg and Leela, AOI I
 - Bender and Leela, Fry and The Slurm Factory

[Reply #311 on:]

Wow, so many good ones, but there's only one clear winner...:Makes generalized gesture:

Actually it's JBERGES.

[Reply #312 on:]

My first win ever.   Wooh!

Ok, you're driving home from work, and an old woman in an old car rear ends you at a stop sign.  You get out of the car and say to her...

[Reply #313 on:]

Me [retelling the story] : Suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse. I chucked the Professor at her but she kept on coming. So had to hit her with this purse I found. Ah, the point is it's Morgan's fault.

-Bender, HHRHGB

[Reply #314 on:]

Me: "Ohh, I think I got whiplash."
The old lady: "I hardly drove over 10 km/h, you can't get whiplash."
Me: "I meant ass-whiplash."

 - Bender and Leela, "Lesser Of Two Evils" (edited)

[Reply #315 on:]

"Oh, so they've sent an old woman to kill me? Well I'm not giving up without a fight!" *Kick old lady*

Bender in BGM (Edited)

[Reply #316 on:]

Everybody else: Get off the road old woman!
Me: Oh! You've made my fist parallel to your face!
(Goes to hit her)
Old Lady: Come to my house and snuggle my cats!
Me: Huwha?
If I remember rightly Randy from Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles! (edited)
The Professor in The Farnsworth parabox!(edited)
Hatti in Future Stock!
The professor in various episodes!

[Reply #317 on:]

Me: Hey Grandma, move your wrinkly old keister!
Her: My back hurts ya young whatcha-call-it, idiot!
- Randy from 'Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles'
- Edited Hatty from 'I, Roomate'

[Reply #318 on:]

Old lady: "Move your kajigger!"
Me: "Why you mother-father! You son of a beach towel! You rotten basketball!

-Hattie and Glurmo from "The Cyber House Rules (deleted scene)"

[Reply #319 on:]

Strange that this should be the scenario when just yesterday I was nearly rear-ended by some old lady.  I don't think she was so much "old" as she was "completely in need of a sphincter/craniumectomy."  By the time she stopped her vehicle, its rear bumper had completely passed my front bumper.  It was just a damn good thing my lightning-quick reflexes, split-second timing, and surgeon-like control over my crappy, beater of a car all kicked in in the clutch.

Her: Are you alright?
Me: Eh, it's nothing a lawsuit won't cure.
Her: So uh, Thunder. Sorry about crushing your bumper like that.
Me: *Gasp*  You, ma'am, have defaced a national treasure.  I demand you restore my bumper to its former glory.
Her: [she can't hear] I'm sorry, what?
Me: Don't you sweet talk me you wrinkly old tube sock!

-Leela and Bender in "I Second That Emotion"
-Fry and Bender (non-sequential, of course) in "Lesser of Two Evils"
-Professor in "Fear of a Bot Planet"
-LaBarbara in "The Route of All Evil"

This post brought to you by Dr "Don't take no crap from little old ladies" Thunder