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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Me: "None of your business, get off my back!" [Runs into the restroom.] Family member #1: "What's his problem?" Family member #2: "If I didn't know better I'd almost think he was abusing alcohol." Family member #3: "Teral? No way!" [Sound of bottle breaking on floor is heard] "I definately would've noticed something." [Family member #2 gets up and knocks on the toilet door] Family member #2: "Teral, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you boozing up in there?" Me: [from inside] "No! Don't come in!"
- Bender et al, "Hell Is Other Robots"
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DrThunder88
DOOP Secretary
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Me: I passed out around midnight, which is much earlier than usual, and when I came to I had these in my chest pocket. [Presents empty beer bottles from inside of jacket.] Mom: Oh, take it easy, Doc. You were probably just playing some gay spin-the-bottle. Me: Oh, I think I may have kissed some guy. Dad: I understand and I think it's wonderful you don't care whether anyone questions your sexual orientation. Me: I care! I care plenty, I just don't know how to make them stop! Dad: One word: Thunderquityourfuckingdrinkin g.
-Bender and Fry paraphrased in "The Honking" -Car salesman and Fry paraphrased in "Put Your Head on My Shoulder"
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DrThunder88
DOOP Secretary
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Good one, rach's friend!
The new situation: You and a friend are tied to chairs in a burning building.
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Young_and_Angry
Professor
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Friend: You know that friend that tied us up and set the building on fire? You: Yeah, what about 'im? Friend: He's a mad man! A MAD MAN!!!! First two lines, I made up, last line -Bender, anthology of interest 2
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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I'm going to take a bit of artistic freedom, and imagine we managed to free ourselves. Teral pulls out his cellphone, friend grabs it and throws it into the fireFriend: "Now I'm all you got!!" Teral: (starts hitting friend, weakly) "I hate you, you evil, mental man!" Friend: "So anyway your phone is melted. Now we're friends again." Teral: "Not necessarily. For the phone may yet function." Friend: " May yet? Really?" Teral: "Indeed. You see, that communications device was made of dolomite. The tough black mineral that won't cop out when there's heat all about. By contrast, observe the fire's affect on this classified document. [Takes a piece of paper labelled Classified out of pocket and takes it towards the fire. It immediately burns.] "Of course, that would have disintegrated even in stomach acid. I just didn't want to eat it. But had it been made of that righteous mineral dolomite, there's a slim chance it might have survived." Friend: "So your cellphone might still function?" Teral: " Perhaps. For a few minutes. It's dolomite baby! .. And now I'm going in after it!" (Runs toward fire, but is tackled by friend)Friend: "Acting like a moron won't bring your cellphone back." Teral: "Then all hope is lost." [Lifts himself up and looks into the fire] "Goodbye Nokia 3210." Friend: "Teral, I'm sorry. I should have understood how someone can love an inferior model. Because I love you. Not in the way of the Ancient Greeks, but in the way a human loves another human, in a manly, strictly hetero-sexual way, like a human loves a dog, or occasionally a gorilla loves a kitty." [He looks into the fire] "I'm goin' in!" Teral: "I'm a professor! Why aren't you listening to me? You can't go in because you'll burn. The cellphone only has a chance because it's made of dolomite!" Narrator: "So the two friends learned how to function as a team, and eventually they were rescued by, oh, let's say.. Moe." - Fry, Bender and Farnsworth, "Jurassic Bark" - James Earl Jones, "Das Bus"
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Habib
Guest
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Well it appears we're boned
Leela-The lesser of two evils
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DrThunder88
DOOP Secretary
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To quote the Professor and Fry in "Anthology of Interest I" about Teral's post:
Pretty long, eh? Yeah, it's really long...
Your ups or you're up, T-man, despite your Simpsons quotation.
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Yeah, I should've ended it after "It's dolomite, baby!".
And I actually thought the Simpsons quote was going to be the decisive edge over the other quotes.
"You're taking a shortcut through an alley, when suddenly a guy in a flashing costume with a large SP-sign on his chest bump into you. He quickly gives you a wad of cash telling you "you didn't see nothing!", and run along. 3 seconds later another guy in a spandex costume and a cape stop you, and ask if you have seen the previous guy. You answer:"
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SideshowTim
Poppler
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"Great something of somewhere"
Hermes in 'How Hermes Requisitioned his Groove Back'
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Super CheekyBab
Crustacean
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Hey!Bite my Glorious Golden ASS!!
- The Farnsworth Parabox
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DrThunder88
DOOP Secretary
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"No! Smoking's for losers, and peer pressure is for losers with big, wierd eyebrows."
-Fry paraphrased from "Time Keeps on Slipping"
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Young_and_Angry
Professor
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Don't make me go upside your head! Bender, "Put your head on my sholder"
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