Absolutely favourite quote for Futurama

[Reply #120 on:]

Bender: "Oh yeah, this plot makes total sense. Wink wink."
Zoidberg: "Bender, you just said 'wink wink' out loud."
Bender: "No I didn't. Raise middle finger."

-That's Lobstertainment!
TOTPD!   

[Reply #121 on:]

"actually she wasn't my girlfriend. she just lived across the street and never closed her curtains."

[Reply #122 on:]

Morgan proctor: I should have known you'd come here instead of following proper procedure...and I did know, and that's why i'm here.


Zapp (to Kiff when he's about to give his speech of appeal at the court marshal in BBA): "Kif, hold up the flag... and wave it a little...f' godsake..."

Mom: "Cram a bastard in it ugly!!!" Also any thing else she says,

Fry "don't you worry about the company, let me worry about blank."

Also - someones already said but "Kif, we have a conundrum" is one of my favourites - Also in the same scene when Zapp asks Kif to go find him a rock, Kif's exasperated 'uahh why!'

[Reply #123 on:]

 

Originally posted by Heavenly Stench:
"actually she wasn't my girlfriend. she just lived across the street and never closed her curtains."

Leela: "What did i tell you about ending your statements a sentence earlier?"
 

[Reply #124 on:]

Bender: Fry, I'm sorry. I should've understood how someone can love an inferior creature. Because I love you. Not in the way the ancient Greeks. But in the way a robot loves a human. A human loves a dog. And occasionally, a gorilla loves a kitty.

Bender: Hey. Yeah! I could write a song. With real words, not phony ones like 'odeley'.
Beck: 'Odeley' is a real word. Just look it up in the Becktionary.

Fry: It's like a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up.

Dwight: I heard alcohol makes you stupid.
Fry: No I'm ... doesn't...

Planet Express Ship: No one loves you because you're tiny and made of meat.

Zoidberg: Friends, help! A guinea pig tricked me!

Oooh ooh, just remembered
Mom: Crapspackle!

[Reply #125 on:]

 

Originally posted by niggle-snoosh:
Mom: "Cram a bastard in it ugly!!!" Also any thing else she says,

I believe it is Jam a bastard in it you crap!

Also welcome to Peel GEM! You will like it here!

[Reply #126 on:]

Thank you!

Also

Bender: Ow. I think I got whip lash.
Leela: You can't have whip lash. You don't have a neck.
Bender: I meant ass whip lash.

[Reply #127 on:]

"Shut up, I was going to say that" from TMLH. For some reason it always cracks me up

[Reply #128 on:]

Leela: Remember Professor: Bender is Santa. So we don't need to hurt him right?

Farnsworth: Yes, yes yes. You sound like a broken mp3!

[Enter Bender via the chimney.]

Bender: Ho ho - [Farnsworth blasts Bender in the chest and he falls back.] - Ow!

Leela: Professor! Don't you remember what I told you?

Farnsworth: Nooo!

[He shoots Bender again.]

- A Tale Of Two Santas

Sorry, its not a single quote.

[Reply #129 on:]

"young man, you have the bravery of a hero. and breath as fresh as a summer ham." 

- war is the h word

[Reply #130 on:]

Oh yeah...

Fry: Now that you mention it, I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. I'll take the gills.
Organ Man: Yes, gills. Then you don't need lungs anymore, right?
Fry: Can't imagine why I would.
Organ Man: Lie down on table. I take lungs now, gills come next week.

and

Bender: Today, I've personalized each of your meals. For example, Amy, you're cute. So I've baked you a pony.


------------------
You're the ruler of the galaxy! Show a little taste!

[Reply #131 on:]

"Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973 but the average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever."

[Reply #132 on:]

Okay, so the poll is probably long closed (I just got here), but several of my all-time favorites are from Fry:

"Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?"

"Hey - when you look this good, you don't have to know anything."

"Make up some feelings and tell her you have them."

"You're better than normal, you're abnormal."

And of course, Bender gets some great lines:

"Hey, I got a busted ass here, I don't see anyone kissin' it!"

"Computer dating: It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase 'upside your head'."

"Interesting. No, wait, the other thing. Tedious."

"Hey, sexy mama...wanna kill all humans?"

"This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me."

There really are too many to list, but those were the quotes that came readily to mind.

[Reply #133 on:]

Bender: "Kill all humans...kill all humans."
Fry: "Bender! Bender! Wake up!
Bender: "Fry, I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it."

Welcome to Peel, Alee.

[Reply #134 on:]

Thank you, zomit.

And while I'm here, one of my favorite Professor Farnsworth quotes:

"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!"

[Reply #135 on:]

Farnsworth/Oz- "Who needs courage when you can have... a gun!" AOI 2

Big Brain- "The big brain am winning again! I am the greetest! Now I am leaving earth, for no raisons!" The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

[Reply #136 on:]

Oh! A few more Fry quotes I can't believe I didn't think of earlier!:

"Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?"

"Every time something good happens to me you say it's some kind of madness. Or I'm drunk. Or I ate too much candy."

"So you have to choose between life without sex and a hideous, gruesome death? Man, tough call."

[Reply #137 on:]

Ah, the sticky and naked one. How remiss of me.

Female Newscaster: This is one day Mittens the kitten won't soon forget! *chuckles*
Morbo: Hehehe. Kittens give Morbo gas.

Ignar: The man is going to touch Mommy?

You watched it... you can't unwatch it!

[Reply #138 on:]

someone prolly said this, but i can tbe stuffed goin through em all

fry: "...these are just like sex, except im having it"

[Reply #139 on:]

   

Orginally Posted by Alee:"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!"

Free Waterfall Jr: "You can't like, own property, man!"
Farnsworth: "I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippy!"

Welcome to PEEL, Zerocool!

[Reply #140 on:]

Nixon: "Arrruuuuu!"

Short but sweet

[Reply #141 on:]

I find the most erotic part of a women is the boobs

[Reply #142 on:]

Welcome to PEEL, crazysfool!   

Fry: What if Bender were really giant?
Leela: You idiot, we already saw that one.
Fry: I know. I liked it, I wanna see it again!
Farnsworth: We're not seeing it again, ask something less stupid!
Fry: Alright, what if I never fell into the freezer-doodle and came to the future-thingy?
Farnsworth: That question is less stupid, though you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.

[Reply #143 on:]

Nixon: Shut up, Damn it!

[Reply #144 on:]

I don't know if it's my absolute favourite but the line that's stuck in my head at the moment is in The Sting where Leela asks Bender if he was singing and he says "I'm not allowed to sing - court ordered."

[Reply #145 on:]

Fry: but but bender need brain for smart making

[Reply #146 on:]

You guys have forgotten your roots.  I must remind you of the first classic:

Fry: Hey Bender, where's your bathroom?
Bender: Bath-what?
Fry: Bathroom?
Bender: What-room?
Fry: Bathroom
Bender: What-what?
Fry: Oh, never mind.

and 1 more,

Leela: You need to express your feelings in an open and honest manor.
Fry: Yeah, either that, or be a man.

[Reply #147 on:]

the whole song in tale of two santas but especially
ELVES: where getting very tired
and we can't work any faster
and where very very sorry
BENDER:why u selfish little bastards
do u want the kids to think that santas just a crummy empty handed jerk
so shut your yaps and back 2 work.

FRY:if anyone want 2 tell me wats goin here i'll be in the lounge

ENVRIONMENTALIST:if u get cold hands just put them between your buttocks thats natures pocket
LEELA:im going 2 look for bender
ENVRIONMENTALIST:make sure he dosent pick your pocket.

FRY hey look its that guy you are

BENDER:not us no sir
FRY:yes us ahuh sir

i could go on 4eva but insted i wont.

[Reply #148 on:]

Roberto: 'What's the matter Red....you scared!!?'

Also, Environmentalist: 'If putting frozen dirt in my crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right.'

(Does anyone remember Bender saying something along the lines of ,'I can't sing....court order' then hitting his chest or something like that, it's been on my mind for ages and i can't quite place it!!)

[Reply #149 on:]

 

Originally posted by Prince:
Roberto: 'What's the matter Red....you scared!!?'

It's the follow up to that which cracks me up:

Fry: N..no..
Roberto: Noticeably? I'll say.

[Reply #150 on:]

Change places

-Insane in the Mainframe

Cracks me up every time.

[Reply #151 on:]

Prince, you're thinking of The Sting.

Errr, ah, here's another quote I love:

"Minion, move my arm!"

[Reply #152 on:]

best quote ever? easy:

Zoidberg (talking to nurse): scalpel...bloodbucket....prie st....next patient

- War is the H-word

[Reply #153 on:]

Too many to list, but for a sampling...

"My planet's embassy!  They're paid to not kill me."
-Zoidberg, "A Taste of Freedom"

"He wasn't actually talking about space travel; he was just using it as a metaphor for beating his wife!"
-Fry, "The Series Has Landed" (probably not exactlty right)

"Fry, I'm going to rip out your swim bladder and show it to you!"

"Fry, it's been years since medical school, so remind me.  Disemboweling in your species: Fatal or non-fatal?"
-Both Zoidberg, "WMIBACIL?"

"The thoughts of others screech at them like the false laughter of a billion art-house movie patrons."
-Nibbler, "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid"

"I'm back, baby."
-Bender, various episodes

"Let's conservate."
-Free Waterfall Sr. (I think), "The BirdBot of Ice-crataz"

"The jury is advised to disregard it's own testimony."
-Some judge, can't remember which episode ("Brannigan, Begin Again"???)

"Fry, in order to get busy at maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a big ol' four-hundred ton booty."
-Bender, "Love and Rocket"

Plus many others already mentioned by other people.  I'll edit when I think of more.

[Reply #154 on:]

Roburto: " My porol officer said I have to get the upgrade to get my stabing knife back"

Futurama's not dead yet!!!

[Reply #155 on:]

Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why? Why? Why didn't I break his legs?

also: Satan! You owe me!

[Reply #156 on:]

Fry: "What if bender were really giant?"

Leela: "You idiot, we already saw that."

Fry: "I know, I liked it. I want to see it again."

Professor: "We're not watching it again! Ask something less stupid!"

Fry: "Ok. What if I never fell into the freezer-doodle and came to the future-thingy."

Professor: "That question is less stupid, although you asked it in a profoundly stupid way."

Anthology of Interest 1.

So of course I get finished typing this and realise that  M0le posted the EXACT same thing.

[Reply #157 on:]

One of THE best (or funniest):

From Where no Fan has Gone B4

Koenig: When we woke up, we had these bodies.

Fry: Say it in Russian!

[Koenig sighs.]

Koenig: Ven ve voke up ve had these wodies.

[Fry makes a giggly squealy noise.]

Fry: Now say "nuclear wessels"!

Koenig: No!

[Reply #158 on:]

here's the right place 

Still one of my favorites:

"If you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all." - From the godlike creature in Godfellas.

[Reply #159 on:]

"Tremble in fear of our three different kinds of ships."--Lrrr, Anthology of Interest II

"Are you familiar with the old robot saying Does Not Compute?"--Bender, A Taste of Freedom

"Fry: That could be my beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
Bender: Oh, but you can! Though you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by devil, I mean Robot Devil. And by metaphorically I mean get your coat."--The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings

"You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!"--Robot Devil, The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings

"Goodos Bender. You got mangled, and now you're a singer. Both our dreams came true."--Hermes, Bending in the Wind

"Bender that was THE best 40 minutes washboard solo I've ever heard. The parts when I was awake blew my mind."--Beck, Bending in the Wind

That's just some. I like lots of the ones from Bending in the Wind, like the Becktionary quotes. These are just some I just remembered.