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Author Topic: Best Futurama Quotes  (Read 75538 times)
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Hawk

Professor
*
« Reply #240 on: 03-27-2003 08:35 »
« Last Edit on: 03-27-2003 08:35 »

Fry: Oh! I'm getting one of those ideas...! With pictures...!
Leela: An idea?
Fry: yeah!
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #241 on: 03-27-2003 16:13 »

"You stink, loser! Even my grandma can get past the first monkey, and she thought this was a cigarette machine!"

-- that obnoxious kid from Panucci's at the beginning of SP3K, from the animatic
spicy_chic_4056

Crustacean
*
« Reply #242 on: 03-27-2003 23:28 »

ZOIDBERG: And no one have been happier, unless it had also been Valentine's Day. What? It was! Horray!!
evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #243 on: 03-27-2003 23:52 »

Dummy 1: "Is an angel missing from heaven? Cuz you got niice cans!"

Surprisingly, that line doesn't work as often as you'd think.  frown
Xtraz

Poppler
*
« Reply #244 on: 03-28-2003 00:07 »

I love the Omicronians:

Its true what they say. Women are from Omicron Persei 7; Men are from Omicron Persei 9.

We will raise the temperature of your planet by a million degrees a day... FOR FIVE DAYS.

The concept of 'wuv' confuses and infuriates us!

What's your order Lerr?
Drop down, increase speed, and reverse direction!


I also like Zapp:

Using the twin guns of grace and tact, I blasted our worthless enemy with a fair compromise.

I found a hideous ape that looks just like Leela.

[Leela] Captain Moron has a plan. Why don't you tell wingis and dingis here.
Wingis! Dingis! Listen up.

If we hit that bullseye, the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

I don't care if your skin's red or tan or Chinese.

You won't have time for sleeping soldier, not with all the bed-making you'll be doing.

I suffer from a very sexy learning disability... what do I call it Kif?
[Kif] ... *sigh* Sexlexia

We know nothing about their language, their history or what they look like. But we can assume this: We stand for everything they don't stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks.
[Bender, enraged] THEY look like dorks!


And of course:
SILENCE! I concur!
Juliet

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #245 on: 03-31-2003 17:53 »

From Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles:

Amy: Dad, if you're gonna make fat jokes till I get cute again, I'm just gonna stay in my room!

Bender: When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Steam Shovel!

Lurrr

Professor
*
« Reply #246 on: 04-01-2003 12:54 »

Lurr is great. Obviously  tongue I can't be bothered to look through the rest of the thread so I'm probably going to repeat some here:

Lurr: No, McNeal! She's wears short miniskirts and is promiscuous!
Zapp: Really...

Lurr: I wish to see more of the plucky lawyer and her compellingly short garment!

Bender: So it's just coincidence that Zoidberg here is deparately poor AND miserably lonely?
(Zoidberg moves to interupt)
Leela: If you must know, it's because he's hideous.
(Zoidberg drops his head miserably)

Cubert: Dr Zoidberg, do you even have a medical degree?
Zoidberg: I... lost it... in a volcano.

Sergant: Private! I want that toilet bowl so clean I could eat off it! 'Cause I intend to!

(A doctor is sawing at one of Zoidberg's internal organs)
Zoidberg: Hey, don't cut that! I need that to speak!
(A pause. The doctor saws faster)
aslate

Space Pope
****
« Reply #247 on: 04-01-2003 14:37 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Juliet:
From Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles:

Amy: Dad, if you're gonna make fat jokes till I get cute again, I'm just gonna stay in my room!

You missed the punchline!
Leo: "Stay in room? You so fat you gonna stay around room!"
Chalic

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #248 on: 04-01-2003 19:47 »
« Last Edit on: 04-01-2003 19:47 »

Okay, a little bit of a long one, but if you're anything like me, you probably missed huge chunks of it as it was drowned out by your own laughter.

[In courtroom, in Original Doop Headquarters, in Waukeegan, New Jeresy, after Zapp blows up the New Doop headquarters.]
Zapp:  I'd like to make one final statement.  Kif, commere and hold up the flag...And wave it a little for godsakes.  My Friends!  You can take away a man's title and his uniform, but you can never take away his integrity or his honor...Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.
Kif:<immediatly, shocked> Wha-a-at?

-From "Brannigan Began Again", second best ep of all time, Love's Labour taking first, and may the dissenters be obliterated!

Oh, and P.S. It's Lrrr people!  Not Lrr or Lur or Lerr or Ler or anything else.

This concept of "typo" confuses and infuriates us!!!
DuffMan2004

Crustacean
*
« Reply #249 on: 04-02-2003 01:22 »

I'm sure this one has been hit, but the part where Bender is thrown out of the Moon theme park..."Fine, I'll start my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers!  And forget the theme park!"

Then later when Leela and Fry wouldn't let him in the lunar lander..."Fine, I'll build my own lunar lander, with...with blackjack and hookers!  And forget the lunar lander...and the blackjack..."
Lurrr

Professor
*
« Reply #250 on: 04-02-2003 06:53 »

@Chalic: Oh @!#$, I forgot that. Oh well, you'll just have to put up with that typo!
spicy_chic_4056

Crustacean
*
« Reply #251 on: 04-02-2003 13:53 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by DuffMan2004:
I'm sure this one has been hit, but the part where Bender is thrown out of the Moon theme park..."Fine, I'll start my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers!  And forget the theme park!"

Then later when Leela and Fry wouldn't let him in the lunar lander..."Fine, I'll build my own lunar lander, with...with blackjack and hookers!  And forget the lunar lander...and the blackjack..."

Hillarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was gonna post that!!  frown

~It's not that I'm anti-social..... I just don't like you!
DPF

Poppler
*
« Reply #252 on: 04-02-2003 18:39 »

Nixon: So Morbo, how are the kids?

Morbo: NUMEROUS AND BELLIGERENT!
aslate

Space Pope
****
« Reply #253 on: 04-02-2003 20:02 »

Bender: "Pump harder Bender, harder!"
Bender: [wimpily] "I'm pumping as hard as i can"
Bender: "HARDER!"
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #254 on: 04-02-2003 20:55 »

Haha, I love it when Bender talks to himself.

"Gee Bender, what are we gonna do with these bars?"

"Oh I dunno, moron--suppose we BEND them?"

"Duhh, ok."
Kristi
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #255 on: 04-03-2003 04:48 »

"That's detention."

-Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles
alexvilagosh

Goose Patrol
Space Pope
****
« Reply #256 on: 04-03-2003 05:50 »

----->Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch<-----
Fry: Everyone we invited is here...
Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg!

----->Episode 2: The Series Has Landed<-----
Fry: Bender, you didn't touch the Crushinator, did you?
Bender: Of course not! A lady that fine you gotta romance first. 

----->The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz<-----
Prof.: Well, Fry, ... or should I say ... "Captain Fry?" No, I shouldn't, because Bender is the new captain.
  tongue
alexvilagosh

Goose Patrol
Space Pope
****
« Reply #257 on: 04-03-2003 07:13 »

oops forgot to add:
----->Space Pilot 3000<-----
Fry: Space, it seems to go on and on forever.  But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

the start of it all....
DuffMan2004

Crustacean
*
« Reply #258 on: 04-04-2003 14:47 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by *spicy_chic_4056*:
*Hillarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was gonna post that!! *

I'm sorry   tongue

I think I saw the sky tonight...
FryterPilot3000

Crustacean
*
« Reply #259 on: 04-05-2003 04:20 »

You have chosen slow and horrible...you are know dead..thank you for using suicide booth ****
FryterPilot3000

Crustacean
*
« Reply #260 on: 04-05-2003 04:22 »

i love theat saying
I_HATE_BOTTLES

Crustacean
*
« Reply #261 on: 04-05-2003 04:46 »

Fry: "Maybe we're all wearing magic rings, but they're invisible rings so we don't even realize it. Also, we can't feel the rings."

-Less than Hero

Also, see quote from signature (War is the H Word)

Ugh... and the aftertaste!
I_HATE_BOTTLES

Crustacean
*
« Reply #262 on: 04-05-2003 04:50 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by FryterPilot3000:
You have chosen slow and horrible...you are know dead..thank you for using suicide booth ****

It ends with "Thank you for using Stop-n-Drop; America's favorite suicide booth since 2008."

Ugh... and the aftertaste!
aslate

Space Pope
****
« Reply #263 on: 04-06-2003 19:43 »

The Why Of Fry

Fry: "I can't work under these conditions, without me there is no mission, i am the mission."
Leela: "We're back from the mission"
Fry: "Wha, what? You went without me?"
Bender: "You were looking up cursewords in the dictionary, it seemed a better use of your time"

Fry: "Argh! Di, did, did you just talk?"
Nibbler: "Indeed, and i have many other amazing powers aswell"
Fry: "Like what?
*Knocks out Fry*
Fry: "Are you my mommy?"
Nibbler: "Negative"

Fry: "I just got kidnapped by a bunch of guinea pigs"

Nibblonian 1: "Does he not know?"
Nibbler: "He does not know"
Nibblonian 2: "He knows not?"
Nibbler: "Knows not does he"
Nibblonian 3: "Not he knows?"
Nibblonian 4: "Enough!"

Fry: "So they're trying to learn things?"
Nibblonian: "Right"
Fry: "Those bastards"

Fry: "These brains, they feel compelled to know everything and soon they will"
Nibbler: "I'm as mad as i've ever been"

Fry: "I'm nervous and i've got brain in my but-crack"

*Fry watches tape of December 31st 1999*
Fry: "Euch! I can't believe how fat i look"

Nibbler: "We had no choice, you were the only one that could help us. What is one life weighed against the entire universe?"
Fry: "But it was my life" :[/b]sniff:[/b]
So touching!

Big Brain 1: "Well, here we are, trapped for eternity"
Big Brain 2: "We could sing American Pie"

Leela: "But think how much skating would mean to those kids"
Bender Jr: "We came here instead of eating today"

Mr. Vogal: "Ok kids, back to the Orphanariam, you can slide around the gym in your socks"
Bender Jr.: "What socks?"

Nibbler: "I period C period Weiner"
Mr. Pannucci: "Err, talk a little louder, it sounds like you've some kind of tiny head on ya or something"

Fry: "If you ever need a saviour again, just ask"

Fry: "Hu? Did everything just taste purple for a second?"
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #264 on: 04-06-2003 23:29 »

Nibbler: You are immune to the brains' attack.
Fry: Because I'm so smart?
Everybody laughs, except for Fry
Dr.Zoidberg05

Crustacean
*
« Reply #265 on: 04-07-2003 00:56 »

Morbo:

"Kittens give Morbo gas."
Prowla RX7

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #266 on: 04-07-2003 01:03 »

URL: You call that an antenna?
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #267 on: 04-07-2003 18:10 »

From 2The Why of Fry": (stop reading if you don't want to get spoilt)


Fry: “Delivery boy, Phillip J. Fry, reporting for duty.”
Zoidberg: “Dr. Zoidberg, soaking in brine.“

Fry: “I’m really sorry, I missed the mission. I wasn’t there, and you might’ve needed me.”
Bender: “No!”
Fry: “But if I’d been there I..”
Bender: “No!”
Fry: “Look...”
Bender: “No!”
Fry: “Benderisgreat.”
Bender: “No! ... oohhh!”

Bender: “Uuuh, you go mutant girl!”
Leela: “I do go!”

Nibblonian Male: “At last, our centuries upon centuries of waiting have achieved fruition!”
Fry: “Aaaah, aren’t you a fwuzzy wittle guy.”
(scatches the Nibblonian male behind the ear)
Nibblonian Male: purrs “Stop that! Uhh, please.”

Nibblonian Male: “Fry, it is my duty to inform you that the fate of humanity, the fate of our race, indeed the fate of all that exists and ever will exist rest with you. You are the single most important person in the universe.”
Fry: “Ohh, snap!”

(Fry is left with a Zebra on his plate)
Niblonian: “You gonna eat that?”
Fry: “Maybe later.”

 Nibblonian Male: “Your immunity is due to the fact that you lack the delta brainwaves. It’s a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather.”
Fry: “I did do the nasty in the pasty.”
Nibbler: “Veryly, and that past nastification is what shields you from the brains.”
(Once more proving David Cohens claim that Futurama is the show that makes up most new words)

Fry: “So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct?”
Nibblonian Male: “Yes. Except Dave Matthew’s Band doesn’t rock!”

Brain #1: “You fool! You’ll be transported to the other universe with us. Trapped there for all eternity.”
Brain #2: “An we’ll form a tightly nitted clique you wont be part of.”

Database Brain: “Clarification request! Are you the Phillip J Fry from Earth or the Phillip J fry from Howering Squid World 97A?”
Big Brain: “Earth you fat idiot. Hurry up.”

Leela: “You know what Fry? I don’t care if you’re not the most important person in the Universe. It really makes me happy to see you right now.”
Fry: “Then I am the most importnat person in the Universe.”
Aaaaawwwwww...  cry

Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!
Not My Name

Poppler
*
« Reply #268 on: 04-07-2003 20:20 »
« Last Edit on: 04-07-2003 20:20 »

Amy's Mom: Please, please, make yourselves at home.
Zoidberg: Don't mind if I already did.
FROM WHERE THE BUGGALO ROAM

Bender: Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!

Fry: Help me!  For god's sake, HELP ME!
Professor: Don't worry, Fry.  I too once spent a nightmarish time in a robot asylum, but now it's nearly over!  So long!
FROM INSANE INSANE IN THE MAINFRAME

Eddie: Hello, pleased to meet you.
Fry: Actually, we've met before.
Eddie: WHAT?  (explosion)
FROM INSANE INSANE IN THE MAINFRAME

Random Video Game People: All your base are belong to us!
FROM ANTHOLOGY OF INTEREST II

Fry: Wow, this is the best movie I've ever seen!  It has a vampire AND an explosion!
Lucy: It's wonderful how you NOTICE TWO THINGS!
FROM I DATED A ROBOT

Zoidberg: Did you see me escaping?  I was like (woobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoob)
FROM I DATED A ROBOT

Bender: But I watch your show! You owe me!
Elzar: I owe you nothing. For starters, your antenna is in my crotch. Also, I hate you. And finally, you can't cook for squat.
Bender: (cries) What was the first one again?
Elzar: I hate you.
Bender: I thought that was number two!
Elzar: I knocked it up a notch. Bam!
FROM THIRTY PERCENT IRON COOK

(roughly)
Zoidberg (about to stab himself with sword): I'm sorry, Fry!  There's only one thing left for me to do--kill myself!  (stabs himself, but the sword breaks)
Samurai: Hey!  That sword costed me 5, 000 dollars.
Zoidberg: Fry did it!  (woobwoobwoobwoobwoob)
FROM THIRTY PERCENT IRON COOK

Bender: Today, I've personalized each of your meals.  Amy, you're cute, so I baked you a pony!
FROM THIRTY PERCENT IRON COOK

Bender: What's that?  One of those Led Zeppelin's I've been hearing so much about?
FROM BENDING IN THE WIND
Ah, good old Futurama...
MuscaDomestica

Professor
*
« Reply #269 on: 04-08-2003 18:05 »

I love the Big Brain he is so funny...

::floats into Sence and Sensibility (sp?)::
Big Brian:I am a giant brain!

Fry: Think Fast
Big Brain: I always think fast

Fry: I hope your calculations are correct!
Big Brian: Our calculations are always correct for we are gigantic brains

Big Brain: I am detecting trace amounts of mental activity, it is either a dead weasel or a cartoon viewer.

Brian 1: Odd...he is immune to our psionic attack!
Brain 2: Impossible We are an abitious young squad with everything to prove!
Hawk

Professor
*
« Reply #270 on: 04-09-2003 08:23 »

Bender: I never meant to hurt anyone... or help anyone...
Bad Mojo

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #271 on: 04-09-2003 08:40 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by aslate:
The Why Of Fry

Fry: "These brains, they feel compelled to know everything and soon they will"
Nibbler: "I'm as mad as i've ever been"

It's the other way around buddy!

*Talking about Chaz*
Fry: So, I'm just as important as him!
*Silence*
Fry: It's just that the kind of importance I have, it doesn't matter if I don't do it.
*Bender throws towel over Fry's head*
asianlightning

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #272 on: 04-09-2003 08:51 »

Farnsworth: Show us this the wheel!

Morgan Proctor: Dirty boy! Dirty boy!
Zoidberg MD

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #273 on: 04-09-2003 11:23 »

Zoidberg: "So long! I'm off to toss this old shell in the dumpster and maybe pick up those potato chips Amy didn't finish yesterday."
Amy: "Those were toe nail clippings"
Zoidberg: "A feast is a feast."
aslate

Space Pope
****
« Reply #274 on: 04-09-2003 12:04 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Bad Mojo:
 It's the other way around buddy!

*Talking about Chaz*
Fry: So, I'm just as important as him!
*Silence*
Fry: It's just that the kind of importance I have, it doesn't matter if I don't do it.
*Bender throws towel over Fry's head*

That's what happens when you do a really long quote post and copy the Fry: stuff.
The Bender

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #275 on: 04-09-2003 15:48 »

Fry: "I can't work under these conditions, without me there is no mission, i am the mission."
Leela: "We're back from the mission"
Fry: "Wha, what? You went without me?"
Bender: "You were looking up cursewords in the dictionary, it seemed a better use of your time"

i also like:
Bender:  "I don't know -- I've got a lot of great memories of my old place.  [pushes button]  ... And now they're gone.
The Bender

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #276 on: 04-09-2003 15:53 »

Fry: &#8220;I&#8217;m really sorry, I missed the mission. I wasn&#8217;t there, and you might&#8217;ve needed me.&#8221;
Bender: &#8220;No!&#8221;
Fry: &#8220;But if I&#8217;d been there I..&#8221;
Bender: &#8220;No!&#8221;
Fry: &#8220;Look...&#8221;
Bender: &#8220;No!&#8221;
Fry: &#8220;Benderisgreat.&#8221;
Bender: &#8220;No! ... oohhh!&#8221;

yeah that was great good times^
Torn Receipt

Crustacean
*
« Reply #277 on: 04-10-2003 18:07 »

Leela: "You're gonna be the ship's cook? But you're a robot, you have no sense of taste!"
Bender: "Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top."
Fry: "Bam!"
Torn Receipt

Crustacean
*
« Reply #278 on: 04-10-2003 18:09 »

(UNDERWATER)

Zoidberg: "My home! It burnt down! How did this happen?!"
Hermes: "That's a very good question..."
Bender: "So THAT'S where I left my cigar."
Hermes: " That just raises further questions!"
Zoidberg MD

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #279 on: 04-11-2003 10:10 »

Farnsworth: "Good news everyone, you know that orphanarium that Leela grew up in"
Fry: "Yeah, we talk about it all the time"
Leela: "REALLY!"
Fry: "NO!"
Bender & Fry: "BURNNNNNNNNNN!"
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