To continue the thread, why do they call Hubert Farnsworth, the professor instead of Hubert or Farnsworth?
Respect, jackass. If you'd spent countless years teaching thankless undergraduates by day and slaving over a hot research bench at night in order to finally be recognised by your fellow academics as having so few peers that you might as well give up hope of anybody else understanding a word you said, people would also call you
"Professor" as a sincere honorific rather than presuming to use your first name as though they were somehow on the same level as you.
Fuck me backwards through a hedge with a policeman. How wasn't this obvious to you?
Or why do they John Zoidberg, Zoidberg instead of John?
They call him Dr. Zoidberg when being respectful, and Zoidberg when they just don't give a crap about showing him respect, because that's what he prefers to be called: Zoidberg. He refers to himself as Zoidberg. Many people are referred to by their friends and acquaintances (and even by themselves) using their surname or some variation thereof. For example, I knew a guy at school who was only rarely called anything other than "Filly", even by teachers. It was his preferred name, and was derived from his surname; Fillingham.
Zoidberg's preferred identification is "Zoidberg". He doesn't seem to be bothered about whether or not people address him as "doctor", and so people tend to address him throughout the series as "Zoidberg".
Or Hermes Conrad, Hermes instead of Conrad? How about those ones? Yeah? No?
Similarly, Hermes probably prefers to be called "Hermes", and people respect his choice. So they don't call him "Conrad", "Connie", or "Bureaucrat", because that would be somewhat demeaning in light of his preference.
Holy crispy fuckstains, son. I wouldn't have ever thought that something this basic would ever actually require
explanation. It's like you've never interacted with humans before. This was a pretty bad idea for a thread to begin with, and that was a spectacularly crappy choice of redirection for it once the initial question was answered. Hopefully some moderator takes a break from licking ambrosia off of the thighs of nubile virgins in the staff room, and gives this thread the old heave-ho*
*No, that's not a term for masturbation. I'm referring to closing the thread. Most people wouldn't need that explained, I know. But given your track record as far as the comprehension of basics goes, you seemed like you might.