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Author Topic: What's Your Favourite Dark Joke?  (Read 6873 times)
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Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #40 on: 09-05-2011 22:36 »

One of my favorite dark jokes does in fact involve the Dark One:

Nine: "After all these eons, the Dark Ones are no more. Will you preserve their DNA, O' Great Encyclopod?"
Encyclopod: "I suppose I should."

The slight hesitation was just hilarious, you could really hear the thought "Erm...when I meant EVERY life is precious, I didn't mean...erm...DAMNED!!! Why couldn't this idiot just shut the fuck up...."
SpaceGoldfish fromWazn

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #41 on: 09-06-2011 01:17 »
« Last Edit on: 09-06-2011 01:19 »

My best friend is a single mother, but this is still probably my favorite line ever.

"I have to go to some charity bs for knocked up teenage sluts." Mom is just so evil.

I also love how the Professor sees Amy as a backup blood supply, and that if anything happens to her, the crew are to bring back her blood.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #42 on: 09-06-2011 01:43 »

"I have to go to some charity bs for knocked up teenage sluts." Mom is just so evil.

That may be my favorite Mom quote ever (followed closely by "Jam a bastard in it, you crap!").

And I loved Larry telling Mom in "Overclockwise" that no one destroys a boy like her. It's a terrible notion, but so very, very true (and so very, very funny).
SpaceMaN

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #43 on: 09-06-2011 01:50 »

That may be my favorite Mom quote ever
In that case:

"Make that bitch your bitch you bastard!"

*may have been in a commentary
Tofu_Lion

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #44 on: 09-06-2011 02:09 »

Ya Spaceman, that part was cut out of Raging Bender. I don't know why haha...
hobbitboy

Sir Rank-a-Lot
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #45 on: 09-07-2011 11:03 »


   One of my favorite dark jokes does in fact involve the Dark One:

   Nine: "After all these eons, the Dark Ones are no more. Will you preserve their DNA, O' Great Encyclopod?"
Encyclopod: "I suppose I should."

   The slight hesitation was just hilarious, you could really hear the thought "Erm...when I meant EVERY life is precious, I didn't mean...erm...DAMNED!!! Why couldn't this idiot just shut the fuck up...."


But Zoidberg saves the day!  [cheers]

Don't hate me, Trinity.  I'm just the messenger.
Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #46 on: 09-08-2011 23:36 »

But Zoidberg saves the day!  [cheers]
HOORAY!!! big grin
DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #47 on: 11-03-2011 16:49 »

"It's a doorbell baby! Hello, little guy. You know, I was abandoned as a baby too, so-"
"Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it."
*Begins to stamp on the basket*

Dunno if it counts, but it made me laugh.
Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #48 on: 11-03-2011 19:40 »

Stomping on a (believed to be) abandoned baby should certainly count;)
spira

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #49 on: 11-04-2011 00:27 »

That was funny, although I was always a little weirded out by how slow Leela's reaction was.
Zmithy

Professor
*
« Reply #50 on: 11-04-2011 01:30 »
« Last Edit on: 11-04-2011 01:32 »

The dark jokes are my favourites.  big grin

"Completely unharmed!" .....  *thud*

The whole scene with Bender giving his firstborn to the Robot Devil.

"Wait a second.. lots of water.. large power supply.. I can choose electrocution *or* drowning!"

The "Bear Hospital".
spira

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #51 on: 11-04-2011 04:12 »

The whole scene with Bender giving his firstborn to the Robot Devil.

Ahaha, yes.

Just remembered the Professor's "It's easier just to have you die" line from, um, some Season 6 ep. Don't remember.
Tachyon

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #52 on: 11-04-2011 04:28 »


Yes, the "Bear Hospital" was shocking, horrifying, and delightfully hilarious!

Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #53 on: 11-06-2011 10:45 »
« Last Edit on: 11-06-2011 10:51 »

The whole scene with Bender giving his firstborn to the Robot Devil.

Ahaha, yes.

Just remembered the Professor's "It's easier just to have you die" line from, um, some Season 6 ep. Don't remember.

You probably mean this one from "Law and Oracle":

"Bender: So where are we going?
Professor: Pandora.
Leela: That dangerous 3D planet? Can't we just send our avatars?
Professor: No, it's cheaper just to have you die."
vonboy
Bending Unit
***
« Reply #54 on: 11-08-2011 04:49 »

in AOI 1, in bender's question, with the newspaper headline that read "Thousands dead, none injured."
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #55 on: 11-27-2011 22:51 »

Quit your yapping, my boyfriend's alive too! *thud* oop, not anymore!
Tofu_Lion

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #56 on: 02-19-2012 04:44 »

I was watching the new season again today and I realized how much I enjoy Leela trying to stomp Pepe to death in Fry Am the Egg Man. The all-out effort, and the thud of her boots, really sells that she's serious about killing him. smile
TheMadCapper

Fluffy
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #57 on: 02-19-2012 06:28 »

I'm dismayful and horrorized that nobody's mentioned Stop 'n' Drop, America's favorite suicide booth since 2008. Every time a suicide booth comes into play, it's funny. How about the Xmas episode in which a store employee suggests fry use the suicide booth, though there's always a line this time of year?

Also, from Cyber House Rules: "You're under arrest for child neglect, child endangerment, depriving children of food, selling children as food, and misrepresenting the weight of livestock! "
Tofu_Lion

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #58 on: 02-19-2012 07:00 »

Ah yes, the Orphanarium; treasure chest of unpleasant jokes.
UnrealLegend

Space Pope
****
« Reply #59 on: 02-19-2012 08:12 »

I can't remember exactly how it goes, but Bender's line at the beginning of All the Presidents' Heads about "clubbing" baby seals was funnier than it should've been.  laff
DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #60 on: 02-19-2012 12:48 »

Pepe

Mr. Peppy. wink

I can't remember exactly how it goes, but Bender's line at the beginning of All the Presidents' Heads about "clubbing" baby seals was funnier than it should've been.  laff

"Time to go clubbin'!"
*Takes a bat out of his chest*
"Baby seals, here I come!"
Tofu_Lion

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #61 on: 02-20-2012 04:23 »

Pepe? I must've had my favorite skunk on my mind...But also, I like Bender's lines at the end of TLOTF about a "mousketeer reunion" and smacking the corpse around. I want to hate him for ruining the moment, but he's so damn funny.
fryfanSpyOrama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #62 on: 02-26-2012 00:13 »

one of my personal favorites is in The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz, when Leela points her gun at the penguins.  "Remember, don't leave orphans, gotta kill off entire families."
Scrappylive

Professor
*
« Reply #63 on: 02-26-2012 07:01 »



Ooooooohhhh.... frown
pumpkinpie

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #64 on: 02-29-2012 23:57 »

Oooooohhhhhhhh........ (cringe)
Inquisitor Hein
Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #65 on: 03-01-2012 00:01 »

one of my personal favorites is in The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz, when Leela points her gun at the penguins.  "Remember, don't leave orphans, gotta kill off entire families."

Hehe..I have to admit I never really carefully thought about that phrase.
"Okay...instead of letting a young one starve to death slow and painfully, rather kill it quickly". Sounded okay and the most obvious thing to do.
Just today when I read your quote I suddenly realised how mean that phrase must be for Leela being an orphan herself.... wink
pumpkinpie

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #66 on: 03-01-2012 00:03 »
« Last Edit on: 03-01-2012 00:05 »


Yes, the "Bear Hospital" was shocking, horrifying, and delightfully hilarious!



The first time I saw that, I actually frigging cried. I was very sensitive those days and anything that had anything to do with cute little animals being hurt drove me to tears. Keep in mind I was 7.


Scrappylive

Professor
*
« Reply #67 on: 03-01-2012 00:07 »

Hehe..I have to admit I never really carefully thought about that phrase.
"Okay...instead of letting a young one starve to death slow and painfully, rather kill it quickly". Sounded okay and the most obvious thing to do.
Just today when I read your quote I suddenly realised how mean that phrase must be for Leela being an orphan herself.... wink

Wow! I already recognized that line as being a dark joke, but I somehow never made the connection that it is being said by an orphan!
Tachyon

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #68 on: 03-01-2012 06:00 »


Yes, the "Bear Hospital" was shocking, horrifying, and delightfully hilarious!


The first time I saw that, I actually frigging cried. I was very sensitive those days and anything that had anything to do with cute little animals being hurt drove me to tears. Keep in mind I was 7.


I understand, pumpkinpie.
 

But I did smile at the grim humour of the "hospital".

Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #69 on: 03-02-2012 04:19 »

I'm watching BBS right now, and it occurs to me that the Scammers' plan to turn New New York into a private panda-hunting reserve is both very dark and very funny. I enjoy watching those pandas dumbly tumble out of the back of Sal's truck way more than a good person should.
UnrealLegend

Space Pope
****
« Reply #70 on: 03-02-2012 10:54 »

Speaking of BBS, this is one of my favourites:

Santa: I'll be back for you once I've stolen my milk and cookies from starving orphans.
Welshy
Crustacean
*
« Reply #71 on: 03-02-2012 14:52 »

Pretty much anything related to orphanhood.

Vogel:Leela! You`re worthless and no one will ever love you!
Leela:You used to say that all the time!
Vogel:Oh, those were happier days.

Farnsworth:You all know the orphanarium where Leela grew up.
Fry:Sure. We talk about it all the time.
Leela:Really?
Fry:No. Burn!

Farnsworth:Said orphanarium has named Leela "Orphan of the Year."
Amy:Your parents must be so proud!

Fry:When you were a kid, what was your ultimate dream?
Leela:To have parents.
Fry:Okay...The correct answer is, to be a superhero!

Vogel:Sometimes you gotta choose between eating and reading. So they ate the books.

Fry:Look, it`s not the food that`s important.
Tinny Tim:I`m so hungry...
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #72 on: 03-02-2012 17:10 »

Fry:When you were a kid, what was your ultimate dream?
Leela:To have parents.
Fry:Okay...The correct answer is, to be a superhero!

Heh, I love that line. At least the harshness is slightly lessened by the fact that Leela has actually met her parents by this point.

Another orphan-related cruel-but-funny moment that I love comes from "The Cyber House Rules": Leela discovering the basket in front of the PE building, and Bender proceeding to stomp on it. I think it's great that Leela refers to an (ostensible) orphan as "a doorbell baby," and that Bender continues to crush the basket even after being told this ("A baby what?").
UnrealLegend

Space Pope
****
« Reply #73 on: 03-09-2012 00:22 »

I love it when Bender sees Tinny Tim walking away starving, and he just laughs.  evil laugh
Tofu_Lion

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #74 on: 03-09-2012 02:36 »

Bender laughing when he's not supposed to is one of the great running gags. One of my favorites is in TLPJF...
Professor: ...in fact, all life is now extinct.
Bender: Heh heh...
spira

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #75 on: 03-09-2012 02:39 »

Its greatness as a running gag is heightened by the fact that it's not a super apparent running gag, like "bit my shiny metal ass" or the camera/"neat". Though it's something they use often, it feels fresh all the time.
UnrealLegend

Space Pope
****
« Reply #76 on: 03-09-2012 02:43 »

Bender laughing when he's not supposed to is one of the great running gags. One of my favorites is in TLPJF...
Professor: ...in fact, all life is now extinct.
Bender: Heh heh...

Congrats on your 500th post. big grin

And I never really thought of it as a running gag to be honest. Maybe I should pay more attention to my favourite show that I already pay way too much attention to.
Tofu_Lion

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #77 on: 03-09-2012 04:13 »

Thanks smile
DotheBartman

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #78 on: 03-09-2012 08:23 »

"Please bring me a coffin for Grandpa. You choked him with a chestnut last year, and he's beginning to smell a lot like X-mas, if you know what I mean."
Scrappylive

Professor
*
« Reply #79 on: 03-09-2012 13:40 »

Bender laughing when he's not supposed to is one of the great running gags. One of my favorites is in TLPJF...
Professor: ...in fact, all life is now extinct.
Bender: Heh heh...

Congrats on your 500th post. big grin

And I never really thought of it as a running gag to be honest. Maybe I should pay more attention to my favourite show that I already pay way too much attention to.

In one of the season 6 commentaries (I think for TLPJF, actually), DXC notes how Bender seems to laugh in every instance of the new run where somebody/something is pronounced dead. In my most recent run-through of Volumes 5/6, I noticed that is very true, with the only exception of his own death.

I never did notice it until after the commentary pointed it out, either.
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