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El-Man

Professor

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Leela: Fry, I know these new Torchwood episodes are kind of scary, but go hide behind your OWN chair!
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hobbitboy

Urban Legend
  
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Fry: OMG! Do you mean to say there's a sqylon device somewhere on the bridge? Leela: Yes, and according to this, its something that wasn't here before. Fry: Oh, but won't that make it easier to spot? Leela: No, this read-out says that it will have been disguised. Fry: But, hang on. How would the Sqylons know anything about what passes for Earthican technology? Leela: They don't. They only have thousand year old TV broadcasts to go on. Which means that this device, whatever it is, probably looks like a piece of thousand year old equipment. Fry: Those bastards! How the hell is anyone going to be able to recognise stuff from that long ago? Leela: [Distracted by what she's reading.] Huh? Who knows.
Look, Fry, we've to stay focused and keep out wits about us. You'd think that finding a thousand year old anachronism amid all the high-tech equipment required to fly a modern spaceship would be easy, like if the wheel was from a sailing ship, or if the ship's computer was an abacus. Fry: Or if the high-precision chronograph was a pin-up calendar. Leela: Right. But obviously its not that easy or we'd have spotted it by now. And I can't quite shake the feeling that the answer has been staring us in the face all along. Fry: Hrrumf. Yeah, right! [Rolls his eyes.]
Hey, I wonder if this teleprompter thing can also tell us what's going to happen next?
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| If you have any poo, fling it now. |
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futz
Professor

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Leela: Aaaaah!!!
Fry: Aaaaah!!!
Leela: Aah! A FUX Execubot!!! No heart, no soul, no brain, no...
Fry: There it is! Looks like you're screwed Leela.
Leela: I was going to say no gender bias, Fry.
Fry: Aaaaah!!!
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Bad Asp
Crustacean

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The Planet Express Crew have landed on the Planet of Food Fights, and Fry and Leela are currently dodging an oncoming lunch tray. 
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Futurama_Freak1

Liquid Emperor
 
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Bender: You know, your better off playing this game in the basement drinking wine. But don't go touching the beers, kids!
(If anyone knows the reference I am talking about, please let me know so I don't feel like this post was worthless)
JD in Bender's Game Commentary.
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Bad Asp
Crustacean

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The boys will gladly accept members of any race (or species) into their club. But there is one rule: NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!
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futz
Professor

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Bender: Ok, so your Dad out ranks me but I know what your mama does while you're in school.
Asian kid: Bam!
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