The What-If machine

[Reply #240 on:]

I like to think that the others might have just gone back to the PE ship and headed home, leaving Zapp to his fate.

What if the Amazonians had been disproportionately smaller than normal humans rather than larger?

[Reply #241 on:]

Then they wouldn't be called "Amazonians".

What if Amy's Chinese curses were in English?

[Reply #242 on:]

What if Zapp, Morgan Proctor, Barbados Slim, Edna, Angelyne, and that one guy Amy was dating in PYHOMS all teamed up against Planet Express? 

[Reply #243 on:]

If Amy's Chinese curses were in English, then there'd be a lot of "beeps" covering over her cussing.

What if Zapp was actually respectful of a woman for the 1st time in his life?

[Reply #244 on:]

He might (and I stress the word might) actually get some action.

What if Zapp published his book of pick up lines?

[Reply #245 on:]

He'd have a New New York Times Worst Seller.

What if Kif decided to stand up for himself?

[Reply #246 on:]

He'd smack Zapp around bigtime.

What if Free Waterfall Jr. had not been eaten by Lrrrrr?

[Reply #247 on:]

Then Lrrrr wouldn't be tripping out all the way back to Omicron Persei 8.

What if Hermes had had a brain slug on his head for an entire season?

[Reply #248 on:]

It would have been difficult to do PE's accounting ("the green pie slice represents revenue from our package deliveries, the blue pie slice represents an $8 bank error in our favor" ).

What if Free Waterfall Sr. hadn't been killed by the Decapodians?

[Reply #249 on:]

He would have continued to be maimed in every ensuing war.

What if Fry was captain and Leela was the delivery girl?

[Reply #250 on:]

Then they'd get lost a lot, and Leela would drop-kick anyone who wouldn't pay up.

What if Soylent Cola wasn't made of people?

[Reply #251 on:]

It'd be made of some other creature, like nibblonians or decapodians.

What if nibbler wasn't an intelligent race from another planet?

[Reply #252 on:]

He isn't. 

What if Nibbler wasn't a member of an intelligent species from another planet?

[Reply #253 on:]

The brain spawn would have destroyed the universe.

What if Nibbler talked when they found him on Vergon 6?

[Reply #254 on:]

Then the Nibblonians wouldn't have had to blank everybody's memories later.

What if Fry had managed to keep all of his money left in his checking acount?

[Reply #255 on:]

He'd be rich, maybe take over PE, and give Leela a diamond scrunchie.

What if Fry didn't do the "nasty in the pasty"?

[Reply #256 on:]

He wouldn't be able to do about all he does - exist.

What if Bender was a whaler-on-the-moonbot?

[Reply #257 on:]

He would have realized his dream to be a folk singer.

What if Helper was in line behind Fry instead of Bender?

[Reply #258 on:]

Fry would have ended up dying - "Slow & Painful".

What if Bender didn't need any alcohol to run?

[Reply #259 on:]

He'd still drink anyways, just because the alcohol is deliciously fortified.

What if Zoidberg had managed to mate with Edna?

[Reply #260 on:]

He'd be dead

What if Amy fell in love with Bender?

[Reply #261 on:]

The Wongs would be poor within a month.

What if Amy fell in love with Zoidberg?

[Reply #262 on:]

It would Mr. and Mrs. Wong's worst nightmare. Then Mrs. Wong would say, "Maybe I don't want a grand child anymore..."

What if "that guy" had helped PE become one of the most succesful delivery companies ever?

[Reply #263 on:]

He would have found a way to cash out by selling the company, while screwing everyone in the process.

What if "that 80's guy" had alzheimers instead of boneitis?

[Reply #264 on:]

He and the Professor would become close friends.

What if Robot Santa was nice?

[Reply #265 on:]

He would be just like regular Santa.

What if the elves didn't work for Robot Santa?

[Reply #266 on:]

They'd starve even more, because there's no work for gay shrimps like them.

What if the Nibblonians spoke english all the time?

[Reply #267 on:]

Then Nibbler wouldn't transmit thoughts directly to your brain.


What if Fry and Leela were trapped in those books forever?
 

[Reply #268 on:]

Then the series would have ended at the end of that season.

What if Fry stayed the stud he became after he was infected with the parasites?

[Reply #269 on:]

Then Leela would have slept with him, and they would have become a happily-married couple.

What if Leela had eaten the toilet sandwich?

[Reply #270 on:]

She would have become an Amazonian.

What if Bender had remained addicted to electricity?

[Reply #271 on:]

Then he'd be running up a huge power bill at Planet Express.

What if Zoidberg had eaten the toilet sandwich?

[Reply #272 on:]

He would be have died, because, thanks to the parasites making him a decapodian stud, he would have mated on his home planet & died.

What if Professor Farnsworth had eaten the sandwich?

[Reply #273 on:]

He would get some hot chicks.   


What if suicide booths didn't exist?

[Reply #274 on:]

The world would be as crowded with people as the Neptune was with penguins.

What if Tinny Tim has 2 normal sized legs?

[Reply #275 on:]

Then he wouldn't need that screwed-on crutch.

What if Calculon could act?

[Reply #276 on:]

He'd get an oscar, fairly.

What if Bender always spoke in his king voice?

[Reply #277 on:]

He'd end up being elected the Earthican President instead of Nixon's head.

What if Amy had her head attached to Fry's body, instead of versa vice?

[Reply #278 on:]

SEATTLE: It was Pluto that had the penguins, not Neptune. Neptune has the short little elves that have no union.


Anyway, she would go insane.

What if Leela had really killed Fry in "The Sting"?

[Reply #279 on:]

Pluto, Neptune, whatever...

Then Leela would have been very sorry for a very long time.

What if Zoidberg had $1 Million to put in his Uncle Harold Zoid's crappy movie?