Come on, Bender, jack a grab.

[Reply #480 on:]

 

Originally posted by DrThunder88:

Bender: Now what happens when I pull it?

[Reply #481 on:]

Hermes: ...and finally making the rendezvous at Thermodyne IV, if you're still alive. Any questions before you get underway?

Fry: Uh, shouldn't we do something about the burning bat in the middle of the table?

Bender: Oh, that's just an adiabat. It can't transfer any heat, don't worry about it.

[Reply #482 on:]

Hermes: "Now, da exhaust port is only two meters wide." 

Fry: (Pointing at hologram) "That's impossible. Even for a computer"

Bender: "No it's not. I used to shoot donkeys with my M16 back in Tijuana and they're not much bigger than two meters."

[Reply #483 on:]

Fry: In... in there. You're a braver man than I Bender.

Bender: I can do it. Just give me a minute to collect my thoughts. If I don't come back - well, you know what to do ol' buddie.

Fry: Yeah. Hermes are you sure? Isn't there another way?

Hermes: No mon, we have to tell Leela that she has to cut her lunch hour short to make a delivery.

Fry: Look! She's starting on the whole chicken. Go for it!

[Reply #484 on:]

Sine Wave, on behalf of physics geeks everywhere I am proud to present you with this award for best thermodynamics joke of all time.

[Reply #485 on:]

 

Originally posted by Sine Wave:
Hermes: ...and finally making the rendezvous at Thermodyne IV, if you're still alive. Any questions before you get underway?

Fry: Uh, shouldn't we do something about the burning bat in the middle of the table?

Bender: Oh, that's just an adiabat. It can't transfer any heat, don't worry about it.

Frisco, give the guy some points!

[Reply #486 on:]

Sorry can't believe I missed that. You're right though definitly point worthy.

6.67x10^11  points for Sine Wave.

(I know it should be -11 but that isn't nearly enough points)

[Reply #487 on:]

I concur.  Sine Wave wins for unlawful Carnot knowledge.

[Reply #488 on:]

 

Originally posted by Frisco17:
6.67x10^11  points for Sine Wave.

(I know it should be -11 but that isn't nearly enough points)

Now I just need to find someone to be the m1 to my m2 and let the force between us draw us together...

[Reply #489 on:]

 

Now I just need to find someone to be the m1 to my m2 and let the force between us draw us together...

  Don't worry, I'm sure your field strength is high enough to scoop up an errant body that happens to pass by.

Leela: "Wait, wait... Yep, the homeless guy's dead.  I told you to put airholes in the box this time."

Farnsworth: "They wouldn't keep dying if the police stopped collapsing their wave functions by letting them out!"

[Reply #490 on:]

Prof: Dangling a bacon double cheeseburger over an open pit is no way to get a man, Leela.

Fry: Worked for my Mom.

Bender: She already snagged 2 - no make that 3.

Leela: Shhhh, new target at 2 o'clock, he's got the scent, he's moving in...

[Reply #491 on:]

Bender:  What do you see over there, Leela?  Flooziebots?  Spying on your loverboy, Zapp?

Leela:  Shut up, Bender!

Fry:  She's probably looking for Lars!

Prof. Farnsworth:  No, she isn't!  She's not looking for flooziebots, Zapp, or Lars!  What are you looking for, Leela?

Leela:  I told you I'm looking for Zoidberg!  I told you that 5 mintues ago!  He's late for work!  Now, where does he live?

Bender:  Good luck trying to find him on the streets!  (sotto voice)  He doesn't even live on the streets! 

[Reply #492 on:]

Leela: "What are you guys doing?"

Bender: "The professor had us set a trap for him. See when you step on a certain section of sidewalk it catapults you into and open manhole 6 blocks away."

Fry: "One way ticket to the sewers at Mach 3. Hehehe."

Leela: "That is so incredibly childish. I mean, somebody could get hurt!"

Professor: "I don't care. I'm tired of Amy insulting my fashion sense. White lab coats are always in style!"

Leela: "Amy huh?" (Pulls out snapped binoclars)

[Reply #493 on:]

Professor: Fuff!  I remember when we had to walk all the way to the local playground to see a public execution.

[Reply #494 on:]

Professor: *sigh* Stupid alien wolves.  They can blow all day but this is a brick house.

[Reply #495 on:]

So there's STILL a scary naked guy in that building?

[Reply #496 on:]

soylentOrange wins for unashamedly playing to the judge.

[Reply #497 on:]

[Reply #498 on:]

Man!  I've got to lay off the 'shrooms

[Reply #499 on:]

Professor: So thats why you should "think outside the box".

[Reply #500 on:]

Leela A: I guess we won't be going back to the Spring Break Universe for a while.

Fry 1: Darn! We had the hotel fooled until the Amys hit the minibar.

[Reply #501 on:]

Professor: "Huh boy, that's the last time I make the mistake of taking everyone to an orgy in the Roman Empire universe!"

[Reply #502 on:]

Professor: I don't understand.  "Ceiling Twister" is always a big hit at Spiderian trans-dimensional mixers.

[Reply #503 on:]

Next, on When Uncertainty Principles Go Wrong...

[Reply #504 on:]

Prof. Farnsworth:  Oh, dear.  *sigh*  I never should have let them all ride the bumper rockets!

[Reply #505 on:]

Professor A: "Okay, so we'll need a bigger box to make the set out of. Not to worry though. There's no way I'm going to let Wernstrom win the Trans-dimensional Puppet Show Competition again this year."

Fry 1: "Wouldn't it make more sense to use actual puppets?"

Professor A: "Quiet you!"

[Reply #506 on:]

Farns A:  Oh wait... it says here that the Personal Bungee Funtime System™  must be used from heights exceeding 3 hundred feet.

[Reply #507 on:]

Prof A: What a birthday..is it my birthday?

[Reply #508 on:]

I had to read JBERGES' line three times to make sure there wasn't a pun I missed. Good thing there wasn't; I'd've rolled a hole in the floor laughing.

[Reply #509 on:]

what?  no jokes on quantum entanglement?  <Fry>I'm shocked.  Shocked!  Well... not that shocked.</Fry>

Tough choice this time, but I'm going to have to go with JBERGES for his spot-on Farnsworthism.

[Reply #510 on:]

Zoidberg 1: If you thought the landing was bad, you should try Mexican Aeroplanes when you just finished eating.

Oh, wait, I'm too late. DAMN IT!

[Reply #511 on:]

Xanfor:  Not everything can be a pun, I'll try harder next time. 

[Reply #512 on:]

Fry: Get out! In the Lincoln Bedroom!?! So Monica was just the tip of the
iceberg?

Clinton's Head: Welllll...

Leela: Fry! You're in a public place!

Ford's Head: Eeeewww! Show some respect for the office son.

Hillary's Head (OC): He's no Obama.

[Reply #513 on:]

Fry: "Wow, President Clinton! It's an honor to meet you sir."

Leela: "What are you talking about Fry? This idiot was the only president in history to actually shut the government down for weeks because he couldn't pass a budget!"

Clinton: "Ya see beautiful that isn't exactly true. The entire thing was a scam so I clear out all of congress and get busy on the Senate floor." (Looks Leela over) "In fact, I just might have to pull that one again."

Leela: "Ugh. I didn't think it was possible but this guy's managed to out-Zapp, Zapp.

[Reply #514 on:]

Fry: So you're saying that women are attracted to power and influence?

Clinton: Like a fat kid to a barbecue.

Fry: Maybe I could use that to get Leela's attention by running for mayor!

Leela: Do you mind?  I'm standing right here.  And that's a completely ridiculous and sexist assertion.

Clinton: Did I ever tell you about the time I used my power and influence to bring peace to the Middle East?

Leela:  (swooning) Not since last Tuesday, but I don't mind if you...  Hey!  Stop trying to charm me.

Clinton: (winking at Fry) Let me know if you want any help with your campaign.

[Reply #515 on:]

At this point, ribald jokes appear to be de rigeur.

Fry:  No way!  It's own glass case in the Smithsonian?  How did they get it in there?
Clinton: One, cut a hole in the box...

[Reply #516 on:]

Fry: What can I do for you Mr. President?
Clinton: Ask that disappointed looking lady over there if she would to like to "not" have sexual relations with me.
Fry: Yes, Sir!

[Reply #517 on:]

Fry: Hey, I know you! You were that guy I saw on tv that I always changed the channel on!

[Reply #518 on:]

Leela: Forget it, Fry, he's lying.
Fry: Really? How can you tell?
Leela: His lips are moving.

[Reply #519 on:]

DrT gets negative 1 million points for getting that song stuck in my head... arrgggg.


I'll give it to Xanfor.