1000 Things to Learn

[Reply #320 on:]

260: The only way to knock a huge ball of rotting garbage out of a collision path with Earth is with another huge ball of rotting garbage.

[Reply #321 on:]

259: a hat full of milk can turn into yogurt if not properly attended

[Reply #322 on:]

258: Bender has a "patriotism cicuit" that can be activated in times of emergency.

[Reply #323 on:]

257: Kill-bots have a pre-set kill level

[Reply #324 on:]

256:  Old people are still just real old in the future; no matter if they are eighty or one hundred and sixty years young (you may be able to "live forever" in the future, but it doesn't give one a vibrant existence- just old, old, old and decrepit!!!).

255:  No matter how old an old person is in the future, they still like wearing their pajamas all day and wharever they go!!

[Reply #325 on:]

254: You have to be over 54 to rent ulta-porn.

[Reply #326 on:]

253: Only non-robots can resist a blast of searing hot resin.

[Reply #327 on:]

252: No Leela, brains make people smart.

[Reply #328 on:]

251. If you come across two Omicronians making out, you want to retreat to a safe, 500 meter radius.

250. A cigar-shop owner seduced Bender's sister, reducing her chances of making a suitable marriage.

[Reply #329 on:]

249: At the time of the big bang, Nibblonians had been in existence for at least 16 years.

[Reply #330 on:]

248: Across the street is a long way to go for making out

[Reply #331 on:]

247: The sole pupose of achieving anything is to impress the opposite sex.

[Reply #332 on:]

246: And in some instances, the same sex (oh come on, you set me up for that)

[Reply #333 on:]

245: The Golden Globe is the Emmy of movie awards.

244: Calculon respects Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.

[Reply #334 on:]

 

Originally posted by tyraniak: (oh come on, you set me up for that)

Good one, Tyraniak; I was hoping someone would step up on that one.

243: In a pinch, Bender can double as a hot water heater.

[Reply #335 on:]

242: Sylvester Stallone may or may not have died in a pit of tar

241: The existence of both Tar Dolphins and Tar Sharks is still in question

[Reply #336 on:]

240: When Fry wants to do fun stuff that'll kill him, Leela's against it.

239: How many planets can there be?

[Reply #337 on:]

238:  Remember, Kif says," No glove- no love."

[Reply #338 on:]

237: Amy's father sees the Planet Express crew as "one eye, lobster mooch and talking trashcan".

[Reply #339 on:]

236: On both Mars and Earth the best hemisphere is the Western hemisphere

[Reply #340 on:]

235:  Remember, sparks keep Bending Unit Robots warm in the 30th century.

[Reply #341 on:]

234: Never tell a 140 year old to "move forward, step into the light".

[Reply #342 on:]

 

Originally posted by seattlejohn01:
234: Never tell a 140 year old to "move forward, step into the light".

233: The Professor is 160.

232: Sharks don't look back, because the don't have necks.

231: Necks are for sheep.

[Reply #343 on:]

230: The term family can also be used for a company or a lesbian coven

[Reply #344 on:]

229: The reason Bender is still single is because all the fine robot sisters are dating humans.

[Reply #345 on:]

228: Pitchomatic 5000 was just a modified howitzer

[Reply #346 on:]

227: A sentence of "Death by Snu-Snu" results in death by crushed pelvis.

[Reply #347 on:]

226: A steak-house can fly like a bistro

[Reply #348 on:]

225: Leela is way too picky; she wouldn't consider dating a pure energy being.

[Reply #349 on:]

224: Said energy being comes from a dimension big on musical theatre.

[Reply #350 on:]

223: Although Humans can survive powerful magnets, they're still defenseless against a stick to the back

[Reply #351 on:]

222: Bender is responsible for the "worst coma acting" ever.

[Reply #352 on:]

   

Originally posted by seattlejohn01:
227: A sentence of "Death by Snu-Snu" results in death by crushed pelvis.

221:  Evidently, Death By Snu- snu, is a highly cherished "way to go" for human men in the 30th century(with a side order of trepidity)!!      

[Reply #353 on:]

221: "I Will Always Love You" By Whitney Houston, is the most beautiful love song ever written.

220: A cooler can be used as a handy wang coffin

[Reply #354 on:]

219: To hell with your spoiled baby, I need those shoes

218: Talking Hump Syndrome (THS) affects many senior citizens

[Reply #355 on:]

 

Originally posted by Frisco17:
224: Said energy being comes from a dimension big on musical theatre.

217:  Bender's robotic gaydar comes in handy for Leela and Amy's dates... Said entity is gay and not looking to really grow a relationship with female human entities- just one night stands.

[Reply #356 on:]

216: Bender can do no arm pushups.

[Reply #357 on:]

215: Bender is a worse actor than the extras in Godzilla movies.

[Reply #358 on:]

214: Bender's acting is so bad that it may have given Calculon cancer.

[Reply #359 on:]

213: There is quite possibly no one on All My Circuits who does not have amnesia.