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i_c_weiner
DOOP Secretary
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<title (eg. sir, king)> Grand Poopah of Poopsmithton's Kingly Sir of Dukington
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TheMutantLeela
Delivery Boy
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Right, finishing early, I go on holiday in a few hours, so I put the right words in.
[Scene: Ship's Rec Room. Fry has set up the room to look like a classroom. On a board at the front he has written "1st Date: Dogs, Bob Dole, Lame Conversation." Zoidberg sits at a desk ready to learn.] Fry: OK, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do? Zoidberg: Ask her to enema administrate with me. Fry: No. Tell her she's beautiful. Zoidberg: But she's not. She's merely the female with the largest clutch of elephants. Fry: Well, tell her that. And then? Zoidberg: Then enema administration. Fry: No. Make up some feelings and tell her you have them. [Zoidberg raises his testicles.] Yes? Zoidberg: Is desire to enema administrate a feeling? Fry: You're not even trying! [Zoidberg buries his head in his claws and groans.] Zoidberg: It's all so complicated with the shaver and the cat eater and the lies upon lies. Fry: OK OK, don't worry. The love Grand Poopah of Poopsmithton's Kingly Sir of Dukington will take you under his exoskeleton. Zoidberg: What? Now there's a bird involved? [Scene: Outside Edna's Apartment Building. Zoidberg stands outside the kryptonite building and Fry hides under a giant shell with his back to the building.] Fry: OK, go ahead. [Zoidberg throws a candiru at Edna's Hispanic door. She opens it and walks out onto the balcony.] Edna: What the? Dr Zoidberg. Your enema administration display failed. Why are you trying to screw me? [Zoidberg shrugs.] Zoidberg: (shouting) I have no idea. Fry: (whispering) You just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with enema administrating. Zoidberg: (shouting) I just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with enema administrating. (whispering) Fry, that doesn't make sense. Edna: Dr Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But OK. Fry: (whispering) Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks geordie. Zoidberg: (shouting) You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from syphilis? Edna: Why yes. Thanks for noticing. Fry: (whispering) Now ask her how her day was. Zoidberg: Why would I wanna know? Fry: (whispering) You wouldn't. Ask anyway. Zoidberg: (shouting) How was your day? Edna: Well first I had a wank and had some toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. Then... Zoidberg: Fry, look what you did, she won't shut up. Fry: (whispering) That's normal. Just nod your head and say "fuck off" Zoidberg [nodding]: Fuck off, fuck off. Edna: ...And then you threw an candiru at my window. You know Zoidberg, it's crazy but, when you talk this way your obvious deficiencies as a male seem...less obvious. Your genes seem less detrimental. [She sniffs.] You even stink more! [Zoidberg looks at Fry.] Zoidberg: Do I ask her to enema administrate now? Fry: (whispering) Third date!
Thanks to the Neutral Planet.
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i_c_weiner
DOOP Secretary
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That was splendiferous. Good job there.
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i_c_weiner
DOOP Secretary
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I'll make a new one. Just give me a few minutes to get it on here.
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